IT jokes

How many CIA agents does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

They don't need lightbulbs--they glow in the dark.

Why was the Mexican scared of cold water?

It might turn into ICE.

I dare you to smile like a donut. Did you do it?

The brain named itself, and when the brain realized that it named itself, it was surprised.

But maybe, it was a spelling mistake and the brain wanted the name Brian. We all have a little Brian in us!

How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex?

Call and tell her about it.

Poultry rape is no joke. It is God's gift to those who want a laugh.

Why is the older brother's kid brother that has autism always performing fellatio on his older brother?

Because he wants to find out how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.

I used to hate foot fungus, but now it's growing on me.

I was asked to design a website for an orphanage, so I decided to design it without the home page.

What did the Titanic say as it sank?

I’m nominating all passengers for the Ice Bucket Challenge!

Magician: "I am the greatest magician in the whole world. Look, now you see the rabbit in the hat, and now it is gone!"

Redneck girl: "That's nothing. My dad is the greatest magician! He disappears for a whole year and reappears at Christmas for a couple of hours!"

I'd make a joke about the chin bones, but y'all couldn't mandle it.

What do you say to someone being cremated? You urned it!

Why does the orphan have water with its cereal?

Their dad never came back with the milk.

Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police... Who? It's the police, let me in so I can get some donuts!

Your hairline so far back, it's a wide receiver for the Minnesota Vikings.

How does a train sneeze?

It goes, "A-choo choo!"

If you mixed the Iraq wheat scandal with the basics card paying other people's dole to your wife and tumble dried it in a royal commission that made your priestly mates look bad, what would you get?

Tony Abbott's career.

Which country can swim?

Finland. Get it? Fin Land?

I have an addiction to cheddar cheese, but it's only mild.