Irony jokes

It's ironic that the more other people love you, the more you hate yourself.

Whoever invented the knock-knock joke should get a "no bell" prize.

Wanna hear somethin' ironic? When one cutter tells another cutter to stop, but he himself can't stop cutting.

To the man in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket, "You can hide but you can't run."

My aunt's star sign was Cancer, so it's pretty ironic how she died...

She was eaten by a giant crab.

What's worse than having an honorary degree from Harvard? Being homeless and having an honorary degree from Harvard.

I'm funny but sad, I submit jokes you'll love. Look for my name in jokes you've read. Anyway.

What did the man with no hands get for his birthday? Gloves. Just kidding, he didn't have the chance to open the gifts.

Hey, wanna hear a joke?

Yeah, me too.

I'm the joke, bitch.

Teacher: "You can't be here after school without a parent!"

Orphan: -no response-

Today was a bad day. First, my ex got hit by a bus. Then I lost my job as a bus driver.

Ha! It asked me to submit a joke, but then I realized I'm the joke.

Why was the Chinese laundry joke not funny? It had no irony.

If a person in a wheelchair runs you over, can you call it a "hit and can't run"?

Do you want to buy my Hoover?

I mean... it's just collecting dust.

My girlfriend's last words:

"I can’t wait to become a mom!"

Man, choking on sugar seems like the sweetest way to die.

My father said I'm too reliant on technology.

I called him a hypocrite, and unplugged his life support.

When Stephen Hawking found out about physics, he was speechless.

Everyone laughs when a bully teases someone, but no one laughs when that person commits suicide.