To the guy in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket... You can hide, but you can't run.
I started a company selling land mines that look like prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof.
I'm American, and I'm sick of people saying America is "the stupidest country in the world." Personally, I think Europe is the stupidest country in the world.
My aunt's star sign was Cancer, pretty ironic how she died.
She was eaten by a giant crab.
