Want to know something good about people giving ZERO fucks about you and living in the country?
Everybody knows nothing.
There is nothing funnier than my life. (Evan 2020)
To whomever stole my anti-depression pills, I hope you're happy now.
A poster for the winter relief fund reads: "No one should be allowed to go hungry or suffer from the cold." A worker says to his friend, "Now were not even allowed to do that."
What made me laugh?
The fact that my life is a joke."
Hey, can't wait to meet you! So join the crippling depression family!!
It's ironic that the more other people love you, the more you hate yourself.
Wanna hear somethin' ironic?
When one cutter tells another cutter to stop, but he himself can't stop cutting.
To the man in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket, "You can hide but you can't run."
My aunt's star sign was cancer, so it's pretty ironic how she died...
She was eaten by a giant crab
What's worse than having an honorary degree from Harvard? Being homeless and having an honorary degree from Harvard.
I'm funny but sad, I submit jokes you'll love. Look for my name in jokes you've read. Anyway.
What did the man with no hands get for his birthday? Gloves. Just kidding, he didn't have the chance to open the gifts.
Hey, wanna hear a joke?
Yeah, me too.
Teacher: "You can't be here after school without a parent!"
Orphan: -no response-
Ha! It asked me to submit a joke, but then I realized I'm the joke.
Why was the Chinese laundry joke not funny? It had no irony.
If a person in a wheelchair runs you over, can you call it a "hit and can't run"?
Do you want to buy my Hoover?
I mean... it's just collecting dust.
My girlfriend's last words:
"I can’t wait to become a mom!"
Man, choking on sugar seems like the sweetest way to die.
