My grief counselor died today. He did such a great job. I don't even care.
I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store.
I said to him: "I don't think they have what you're looking for, sir."
Someone broke into my house and took my anti-depressants... I hope they're happy now.
I have the best life coach ever, because he taught me to not care. He did it so well that he died last week, and I still don’t care.
Who needs April Fools?
When your whole life is a joke?
Kid asks, "What is dark humor?" Me *points*, "See that guy across the street..." Kid: "I can't... I'm blind." Me: "Exactly."
Tried to kill myself today using a bungee cord, I kept ALMOST dying.
My sister said I'm stupid today, and she's the one who wrote this.
Want to know something good about people giving ZERO fucks about you and living in the country?
Everybody knows nothing.
I had bullies behind me on the street, but they were too fat and slow, so they got ran over by a truck that represents fat and slow.
There is nothing funnier than my life. (Evan 2020)
To whomever stole my anti-depression pills, I hope you're happy now.
A poster for the winter relief fund reads: "No one should be allowed to go hungry or suffer from the cold." A worker says to his friend, "Now were not even allowed to do that."
What made me laugh?
The fact that my life is a joke."
Hey, can't wait to meet you! So join the crippling depression family!!
Your joke: you.
It's ironic that the more other people love you, the more you hate yourself.
Whoever invented the knock-knock joke should get a "no bell" prize.
Wanna hear somethin' ironic?
When one cutter tells another cutter to stop, but he himself can't stop cutting.
To the man in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket, "You can hide but you can't run."
