A child asks his father, "How do you get pink eye?"
Son, I was told it’s from scratching your butt, then rubbing your eyes.
Then the son asks, "How did I get Fungi?" As the father was about to answer, the boy says, "Ohh, so is it from scratching my stinky feet, then rubbing my eye?" ———-Fungeye
What country did Indians invent?
Curry-a.
Velcro, what a rip-off!
Do you know who invented paper?
Cai Lun!
“RIP” Cai Lun.
How did Stephen Hawking make it up the stairway to heaven?
Well, he didn’t; they invented an elevator.
Why is the wheel the best invention?
Because it's wheely wheely great!
Fun fact: Toasters were originally called tanning breads!
Which one of Lord Arthur's knights invented the round table?
Sir Cumference.
A woman goes into labor with her child. The doctor says that they have invented a new device to transfer the pain of childbirth to the father. He asks if it is okay to use the new device. The couple agrees, and so he turns the pain to the father to 10%. The man feels nothing. They then bump it up to 20%. He still feels nothing. They keep doing this until they have the machine up to 100%. The man still felt nothing so they go home happy, until they find the milkman dead on the porch.
Did you hear about the guy who invented the first knock knock joke?
He won the No Bell Prize!
When the chair was invented, the inventor's friend wanted to know what it did. The inventor replied: "You might want to sit down for this."
The shovel is a ground breaking invention.
*Slaps and laughs*
The invention of the shovel was groundbreaking.
A new burger has been invented in memory of Stephen Hawking.
I doubt it will sell though, as it's 95% cabbage.
For one of the most highly regarded minds on the planet, it is a shame he could not create a longer-lasting battery.
Surely people would consider putting pedals on wheelchairs so that their arms don't get tired.
I heard the man who invented Autocorrect died; may he rest in peace.
Did you hear about the person who invented the door knocker?
He won a no-bell prize.
Two wrongs don't make a right, but what do two Wrights make?
The first airplane.
Why did they invent glow-in-the-dark condoms? So gay guys can play Star Wars.
