Invention jokes
Aw hell naw,
dey turned Spongilebile in2 a frigin generator.
Did you know the Bible has a passage about killing babies by smashing them against rocks?
That's probably because microwaves hadn't been invented yet.
I have some sad news. The Australian inventor of the boomerang grenade died today. RIP 馃様
1. If being ugly was a crime, you would have a life sentence.
2. My phone battery lasts longer than your friendships.
3. There is a tree out there giving you oxygen, and you owe that tree an apology.
4. I don鈥檛 hate you, but I gotta unplug your life support to charge my phone.
5. When I saw your dad on the sidewalk, I didn鈥檛 laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.
6. If I had powers, I would make you the dumbest person alive, but it seems life already beat me to the punch.
7. If karma ever comes to punch ya in the face, I wanna be there to help it.
8. If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I鈥檇 be broke.
9. You are more disappointing than a cake without frosting.
10. Were you born on a highway, 'cause that鈥檚 where most accidents happen?
11. Wow, that hurts, now I know how it felt when your mom said that to ya.
12. You're the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo, and you may as well be the reason why the middle finger was invented.
Who discovered shrimp were edible?
Probably the same one who invented the blowjob.
I invented a time-traveling machine and traveled back to Pangea. I warned the dinosaurs about the deadly asteroid. They told me, "It wasn't an asteroid... it was Pionel Pessi's penalty ball ricocheted from Mars that made them extinct." Tears ran down my face. Shame on you, Pessi!
Why were condoms invented? So gay guys can have sword fights.
Yo mama's so fat, she invented double doors!
I just thought of the best invention ever: a vape dildo.
What does a kid do when he's bored and he's sitting? He puts wheels on the chair and makes it a wheelchair.
"You must be why they invented the word ugly."
What was Stephen Hawking's least favorite invention? The walkie-talkie.
Whoever invented school, I hope you burn in hell.
You are the reason double doors were invented.
Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?
Because he wanted to win no-bell prize!
Once there were three Indians. Two were smart and one was... not so smart.
One day, the first smart Indian went out hunting. He came back with a dead deer. The not so smart Indian asks "How'd you do it?"
The smart one replies, "I followed the deer tracks, shot the deer, and brought it home."
The next day, the next smart Indian goes out. He comes back with a dead bear. The not so smart Indian asks once again "How'd you do it?"
The smart one replies, "I followed the bear tracks, shot the bear, and brought it home."
Finally, it's now the not so smart Indian's turn to go hunt. Multiple hours had passed since he left. The smart Indians go out to search for him. They finally find him, bloodied and on the verge of dying. The smart Indians exclaimed "WHAT HAPPENED!"
The not so smart Indian replies,
"Well I... I followed the train tracks, an... and shot th- the train... bu- but it kept going..."
Why did the T-Rex cross the road?
The chicken wasn鈥檛 invented then.
Aboriginals around for 50,000 years invented the spear.
Why did God invent yeast infections? So women would know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt too.
You meet the guy who invented 0, what do you tell him? Thanks for nothing!