Intimacy jokes
What should you do after banging the tightest pussy?..
Just put the diaper on her 😉
She'd suck my dick and let me suck her tits.
I once cummed on my boyfriend's dick. { puts an eggplant emoji }
I like to watch porn too ;)
Being gay must be a pain in the ass.
The woman said stop, but the man kept going, so the wife just kept fucking.
Want to have sex?
Hoes be like, "I've been through a lot."
No, a lot's been through you.
Daddy, harder!
I tried to have phone sex once.
But the holes were too small.
Why can't an orphan have sex?
They have no one to call "daddy."
Husband: Can we try anal tonight? Wife: Fuck that shit! Husband: That's the spirit!
If you think long and hard, oral sex is like cannibals.
"I bet you can't tell me something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time," a husband says to his wife. She thinks about it for a moment and then responds, "Your penis is bigger than your brother's."
The highest praise my wife gave to me was when she told me, "The best feminine attribute on your body as a woman would be your p🍆nis." 🥰
What do trans women bring to lesbian relationships?
Something big and warm 🍆.
I got breast implants for my wife to squeeze on as she thrusts on my meat while straddled in between my legs.
When a deaf person has sex, do they use one hand to moan?
Last night I had sex and she said, "Stop talking about s***, OMG!" and I made her scream so loud she said, "Her balls hurt!"
What did the naked man say to the naked woman?
"Suck my dick."
But she hasn't tried the position with her new boyfriend, so she invites him to a romantic dinner.
After dinner, she tells her boyfriend about her desire for it, but her boyfriend was clueless about such acts, so she tells him to strip naked on the couch and lay on top of him naked in the 69 position. She starts sucking him off and starts waiting for him to do the same, but the bf didn't know what to do, so he just lay there. Suddenly, the girl had an urge to fart but held it in because her asshole was right near his bf's face. Suddenly, she loses control and lets one out. She apologizes profusely and continues sucking him. A couple of minutes later, she feels the urge again and lets another fart rip near his face. The BF throws the girl from the couch, gets up, and says, "Bitch if you think I'll be lying here for 67 more of those, you're fucking crazy."