Intimacy jokes

She invited me in the house, and we started makin' out again.

Why is Johnson's baby shampoo the best lubricant for anal sex?

- No more tears.

Baby, here's my anus.

Baby, too, where's my anus?

What's a good way to masturbate?

Get somebody to do it for you.

Uh, uh, fuck me, daddy!

Say "I'm a man" after every sentence.

You walk into a bar. (I'm a man.) You find a girl. (I'm a man.) You take her home. (I'm a man.) She whispers in your ear. (I'm a man.)

My dick is hard, what's your name?

Only one of Kenny's girlfriends has ever said he's good in bed.

But she has to. She's his mom.

Last time I got a piece of ass was when my finger went through the toilet paper.

There’s no "I" in "sex," but there’s a "U" in "cum."

What is sex? You put a sex person in someone’s sex.

While fucking a hot auntie, pressing tightly her boobs and fondling, He: What do you feed your babies? She: Milk and orange juice. He: Wow, which side is orange juice? 😋

Kaden wants to have sex with you.

Roses are red.

Grass is green.

I think of you sucking my peen.

Once, there was a couple about to have sex. "I have something to confess," said the shy wife. The husband then said, "Whatever it is, I will still love." The wife then said, "Honey, I'm flat chested." The husband said, "It's okay, I'm a baby down there anyways." He then pulled down his pants and began to have sex.

The next day, the wife said, "I thought you were a baby down there." The husband then said, "I am; 22 inches and 7 pounds."

I just had sex.

"Lemme clap your girl's booty cheeks, daddy papi."

Friend: Do you know him?

Other Friend: Know who?

Friend: My dick!

My crush said that she would rather die than have sex with me... It turns out that she was lying.

When it is quiet when you're having sex and you ask your partner to "Do the roar!"