Fishing is like sex: when it is great, it is great; when it is not so great, it is still great!
A woman comes to the doctor and tells her, "Doctor, my husband wants intense sex all day, what should I give him?" The doctor says, "My number."
If your girl smells like tilapia, don’t let her on top of ya.
Aaron and Ben meet on Grindr. They have a drink and have sex. They wake up in the morning in bed. Aaron says, "I'm so glad I got it out." Ben replies, "What? Oh, just the HIV."
How do you suck a dick?
Stick it down your throat like Nicholas does with Dennis.
Sex sex sex free sex tonight, I mean 666-3629.
My sex life.
What does your first football game and your first time having sex have in common?
You were bloody and battered but at least your dad came.
My girlfriend said she wanted to be pampered. I told her I wasn't into diaper fetishes.
What's two lesbians in a tent?
A finger hut.
My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex between 1-10.
Last night we tried anal, she kept shouting 9!
That's the best I've done so far.
Hey babe, I’m looking to get 23 years in 23 seconds, can you help?
Wife: I want to deep throat your dick.
Husband: let’s do this.
Wife: April foogjhmgkjgyukgyukfygkutkutkygfku5t!
Weather is like sex. Once in a while you need to get wet.
When I masturbate, things cum.
When an old man does, no one cums.
What's the best part about having sex with twenty-seven year olds?
There's twenty of them!
What do you call two Mexicans having sex? 50 Shades of Brown.
If you have a daughter, give her the same name as the mum; that way when you call for a beer, you get two beers, and when you call for sex, you get two sex...
A fan gave another fan a blowjob.
What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Stop and apply lubrication.
