Intimacy jokes
What does your girl do to me? She sucks me off.
When you’re having the best sex in your life and your grandma says, “I’m not dead!”
What's the best thing about a blowjob?
- The silence.
Masturbation is better than rough sex.
Konan was having sex on the couch, thinking how he'd come so far.
Kenny's dick is so small that instead of giving him a handjob, I gave him a thumb and forefinger job.
She’s so therapeutic.
When I need to cure my restlessness, I br-br-br-br-br-br-br-br motorboat your mom's breastestess!
Cause she loves to toss the salad even though she ain’t a chef!
"We make sexy time, yes, and every night I tap that."
She invited me in the house, and we started makin' out again.
Why is Johnson's baby shampoo the best lubricant for anal sex?
- No more tears.
Baby, here's my anus.
Baby, too, where's my anus?
What's a good way to masturbate?
Get somebody to do it for you.
Uh, uh, fuck me, daddy!
Say "I'm a man" after every sentence.
You walk into a bar. (I'm a man.) You find a girl. (I'm a man.) You take her home. (I'm a man.) She whispers in your ear. (I'm a man.)
My dick is hard, what's your name?
Only one of Kenny's girlfriends has ever said he's good in bed.
But she has to. She's his mom.
Last time I got a piece of ass was when my finger went through the toilet paper.
There’s no "I" in "sex," but there’s a "U" in "cum."
What is sex? You put a sex person in someone’s sex.