Intimacy jokes

Konan was having sex on the couch, thinking how he'd come so far.

Kenny's dick is so small that instead of giving him a handjob, I gave him a thumb and forefinger job.

She’s so therapeutic.

When I need to cure my restlessness, I br-br-br-br-br-br-br-br motorboat your mom's breastestess!

Cause she loves to toss the salad even though she ain’t a chef!

"We make sexy time, yes, and every night I tap that."

She invited me in the house, and we started makin' out again.

Why is Johnson's baby shampoo the best lubricant for anal sex?

- No more tears.

Baby, here's my anus.

Baby, too, where's my anus?

What's a good way to masturbate?

Get somebody to do it for you.

Uh, uh, fuck me, daddy!

Say "I'm a man" after every sentence.

You walk into a bar. (I'm a man.) You find a girl. (I'm a man.) You take her home. (I'm a man.) She whispers in your ear. (I'm a man.)

My dick is hard, what's your name?

Only one of Kenny's girlfriends has ever said he's good in bed.

But she has to. She's his mom.

Last time I got a piece of ass was when my finger went through the toilet paper.

There’s no "I" in "sex," but there’s a "U" in "cum."

What is sex? You put a sex person in someone’s sex.

While fucking a hot auntie, pressing tightly her boobs and fondling, He: What do you feed your babies? She: Milk and orange juice. He: Wow, which side is orange juice? 😋

Kaden wants to have sex with you.

Roses are red.

Grass is green.

I think of you sucking my peen.

Once, there was a couple about to have sex. "I have something to confess," said the shy wife. The husband then said, "Whatever it is, I will still love." The wife then said, "Honey, I'm flat chested." The husband said, "It's okay, I'm a baby down there anyways." He then pulled down his pants and began to have sex.

The next day, the wife said, "I thought you were a baby down there." The husband then said, "I am; 22 inches and 7 pounds."