What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it.
My boyfriend entered a retarded contest, but they said no because they don’t allow perfectionists.
I asked my zombie boyfriend, "Does he have a brain?" Because he's stupid asf.
How do you drown a blonde? You tape a mirror to the bottom of a 13-foot deep pool.
What do you call a smart egg? An egghead.
That was an egg-cellent joke!
Yo mama so stupid, when I told her she needed some cats, she came back with...
CRASH, ARENA, TURBO STARS!
Why did the blondie put her iPad in the blender? To make apple juice.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: Because chickens are mindless creatures and do not know any better.
Yo mama's so dumb, her dad said, "You're driving me crazy," and she said, "I didn't know crazy was a place!"
A young boy enters a barber shop, and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves.
"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream parlor.
"Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"
The boy licked his cone and replied:
"Because the day I take the dollar the game is over!"
What’s one thing smarter than Stephen Hawking? His computer.
So three retards walk into a classroom...
Sike, it was the garbage. They mistook it for their classroom.
What do you call a blonde?
A piss-head.
One day Little Johnny’s class is having an English lesson. The teacher asks them, “Who can use the word intelligent in a sentence?” Little Mary says, “The teacher is very intelligent.” The teacher asks them, “Who can use the word fashionable in a sentence?” Little Suzie says, “They are very fashionable.” The teacher says, “Johnny, why don’t you have a go? Use the word dictate in a sentence.” Johnny thinks for a moment and then says, "Last night I heard Daddy asking Mommy, ‘Darling, how does my dick taste?’”
One day Little Johnny's class is having an English lesson. The teacher asks them, "Who can use the word intelligent in a sentence?" Little Mary says, "The teacher is very intelligent." The teacher asks them, "Who can use the word fashionable in a sentence?" Little Suzie says, "They are very fashionable." The teacher says, "Johnny, why don't you have a go? Use the word dictate in a sentence." Johnny thinks for a moment and then says, "Last night I heard Daddy asking Mommy 'Darling how does my dictate'"
What did one brain cell say to the other brain cell?
"I think I feel a connection!"
What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair?
Artificial Intelligence.
Who needs storage on a computer? Just use an Asian's brain.
Why was Stephen Hawking good at football? Because he is a pro dribbler.
Yo momma so dumb, she washes her dishes in the river.
