Intelligence jokes
Why does no one look up at Steven Hawking?
You have to look down to see him.
A blonde walks in and says, "I want to buy that TV."
The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."
The blonde comes back the next day with brown hair and says, "I want to buy that TV."
The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."
The blonde comes back the next day with brown hair and says, "I want to buy that TV."
The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."
The blonde asks, "That's it, how'd you know I was a blonde?"
The seller replies, "Because that's a microwave."
Yo mama is so stupid, when she saw on her computer it said "You have 3 cookies," she broke it.
Yo mama so stupid, she thought baseballs were at Batman!
Yo mama so stupid she thought seaweed was something fish smoke.
Yo mama so stupid, when I said, "Go deep," she dug a hole in the field.
Yo mama so stupid, she brought weed to the highway. Then she realized, "I'm not stupid, I was just high as a bitch." She just got fucked so hard by her man, she thought she was high.
How do you get a blonde to drown? You tell them the bottom of the pool smells weird.
Stephen Hawking = dead smart.
What do you call a man who likes rape jokes?
A fucking disgusting scumbag with no intelligence whatsoever. If you actually joke about this, you are the reason humanity has faded.
My uncle is a computer genius! The police even called him a PDF file!
After getting in the White House, D. Trump gets a letter...
...from the Iranian president. He opens it and to his surprise there is a paper with a weird looking code on it:
370HSSV 0773H
All confused, Trump contacts the FBI and forwards the letter to them in hope they can figure out the meaning, but they weren't able to. Trump gets angry and sends the letter to both the CIA and NSA, and they also fail to figure out the meaning of the letter.
One of the agents suggests Trump ask for MI6's help, so he does and few minutes after a British agent sends a fax to his secretary:
"Tell your president he was holding the letter upside down."
Bro, your toenails are bigger than your IQ.
When they were going around giving out brains and you thought they were saying "train," so you said, "No thanks, I’ll take the next one!" 🤣
What do you call a smart pig?
A Swinestein.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Chicken.
Keep rolling your eyes and maybe you'll find a brain back there.
You couldn't spit out a good sentence, even if you ate a bowl of alphabet soup.
Your mum is so smart, but she still can’t figure out why she had you.
Only really smart people will get this without it being explained.
Toilet paper fight hat.