Insult jokes

Would you rather date me or a lady?

I laid deez nuts in your mouth.

1. Are you talking to me because I think you talked to my backside?

2. Your mom must taste good because it is always in your mouth.

3. My foot lasts longer than your life.

I can tell you used to be friends with your hairline, cuz it goes way back.

Your momma's so dumb, she took her driving lesson on a dinosaur.

B b b b bird bird bird, the bird banged your mom!

If you need help, you will need trash, 'cause you the trash.

Ama is a bitch. I want him to die and kill himself.

Your classmate: You're so ugly.

Me: That's what your mom said when she had you and called you a mistake.

Kalyn: Mrs. Frizzle,

Mrs. Frizzle: Sure.

Kalyn: Can you spell I-C-U-P for me?

Mrs. Frizzle: Shut up, you little fucktard!

What do you call a bitch?

You call it a female dog.

Your mom has a bone to pick with me.

Yo mama so fat, she doesn't need internet, because she's already WORLDWIDE!

"Harry Hicks smells of home. Homo is an infection, and infections are made up of atoms."

Brother: Your eyebrows look hella bad.

Sister: I don’t even think you know what eyebrows are supposed to look like because you have none.

A wife asks her husband: Am I pretty or ugly?

The husband answers her: Pretty.

The wife responds: Thank yo-

The husband interrupts her: Pretty ugly!

My friend wasn't laughing at my jokes, so I said, "Is your funny bone broken?" But he got mad, and then I said, "Do you have a bone to pick with me?" He tried to insult me, but I said, "Call me what you want, I got thick skin," and this story was down to the bone.

Ur mom gay lololololololol.

I told my mother I'm a sexy cunt. She said, "No, you got cancer, you twat."

Wife: I will leave you if you call me fat again.

Husband: Wait, dear... Don’t do it for the sake of our kid!

Wife: Kid?

Husband: Yeah, aren’t you pregnant?

You're mum.