Insult jokes

Is your ass jealous of the amount of shit that just came out of your mouth?

You're so bald, Bob Hope would refer to you as "grandpa."

Your forehead is so big NASA thought it was Mars.

If you need help, you will need trash, 'cause you the trash.

B b b b bird bird bird, the bird banged your mom!

Are your forehead and hairline friends? 'Cause they go way back.

I can tell you used to be friends with your hairline, cuz it goes way back.

1. Are you talking to me because I think you talked to my backside?

2. Your mom must taste good because it is always in your mouth.

3. My foot lasts longer than your life.

If an old person tells you what to do just say, "At least my parents are alive!"

Girlfriend: Babe, what do you think of our love?

Me: Look at the stars in the sky.

Girlfriend: Aww... it’s infinity, right?

Me: No, it’s a waste of time.

Girlfriend: I’m breaking up with you.

Me: Whatever, when I take out the trash, I think of you.

Yo mama is Obama.

Would you rather date me or a lady?

I laid deez nuts in your mouth.

Your momma's so dumb, she took her driving lesson on a dinosaur.

Ama is a bitch. I want him to die and kill himself.

Your classmate: You're so ugly.

Me: That's what your mom said when she had you and called you a mistake.

Kalyn: Mrs. Frizzle,

Mrs. Frizzle: Sure.

Kalyn: Can you spell I-C-U-P for me?

Mrs. Frizzle: Shut up, you little fucktard!

Brother: Your eyebrows look hella bad.

Sister: I don’t even think you know what eyebrows are supposed to look like because you have none.

"Harry Hicks smells of home. Homo is an infection, and infections are made up of atoms."

Your mom has a bone to pick with me.

Yo mama so fat, she doesn't need internet, because she's already WORLDWIDE!