Insult jokes

You're gay, lol.

What do you call a bitch?

You call it a female dog.

A wife asks her husband: Am I pretty or ugly?

The husband answers her: Pretty.

The wife responds: Thank yo-

The husband interrupts her: Pretty ugly!

Roses are red, violets are blue.

Your mom is fat and so are you.

Bully: Shut up.

Me: I don't shut up, I grow up, and when I look at you, I throw up.

You smell!

Bully: Ur momma so fat that the whales said we are family even though you are a little bigger than us.

Nerd: Yo momma so ugly that when she went in the bathtub, the water jumped out.

Silence...................punch!

Is your ass jealous of the amount of shit that just came out of your mouth?

You're so bald, Bob Hope would refer to you as "grandpa."

Your forehead is so big NASA thought it was Mars.

If you need help, you will need trash, 'cause you the trash.

B b b b bird bird bird, the bird banged your mom!

Are your forehead and hairline friends? 'Cause they go way back.

I can tell you used to be friends with your hairline, cuz it goes way back.

1. Are you talking to me because I think you talked to my backside?

2. Your mom must taste good because it is always in your mouth.

3. My foot lasts longer than your life.

If an old person tells you what to do just say, "At least my parents are alive!"

Girlfriend: Babe, what do you think of our love?

Me: Look at the stars in the sky.

Girlfriend: Aww... it’s infinity, right?

Me: No, it’s a waste of time.

Girlfriend: I’m breaking up with you.

Me: Whatever, when I take out the trash, I think of you.

Yo mama is Obama.

Would you rather date me or a lady?

I laid deez nuts in your mouth.

Your momma's so dumb, she took her driving lesson on a dinosaur.