Insult jokes

I'm sorry your dad beat you instead of cancer.

Roberto: Judd, your DNA looks like the infinite symbol.

Judd: Roberto, your DNA looks like a pasta noodle.

Yo mama is so fat that she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl and a plate and ketchup to the red zone.

My cousin said being gay was such a pain in the ass and I asked him why and I said, "Cuz you get buttfucked?" and he said, "No, I get made fun of." and I said, "Why? Cuz you get buttfucked?" and he said, "No, turd." Then I said, "Wow, at least I'm not the one with real pains in my ass, bro."

You are what happens when women drink during pregnancy.

Roses are red.

Violets are blue.

I saw a monkey yesterday, and thought it was you.

Roses are red, colors are blue, if I was you, I'd look like you.

On one hand he was fantastic and the other a spastic. You could say he was a fantastic spastic.

This homeless lady called me ugly, so I told her, "Okay, then I'm going home."

Yo mama so stupid, you could not even be born because of her idioticness.

You're so fat that when you got on the scales, they said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"

Yo mama so fat, when she ran... oh wait never mind.

Are you with Alex?

Fucking retarded. Go dig a home die, people!

You’re looking pretty rough this evening. You look like if sweatpants were a person.

I don't shut up, I grow up, and when I see you, I throw up.

My brother said, "Bruh, why you so ugly plus why do you stink?" Me: "Is that supposed to be a roast? I got one for you. Why do you look like you came out the wrong side of your mother? Instead of her stomach, you came out of her butt. That's why you were born with brown spots on your head. That's her poop, you stupid fuckface." My friends: "Ouch that's gotta hurt."

My cousin called me ugly.

Well, I'm pretty sure 90% of her looks could be wiped away with a Kleenex.

Suck on deez balls!

Roses are red, violets are blue, A face like yours belongs in a zoo. Don't worry, I'll be there with you, But not in the cage, but laughing at you.

Mom, shut up. Me? I don't shut up, I grow up. When I look at you, I throw up.