INS jokes
Q. What do you call a CEO that's been shot in the head?
A. An ambulance.
Did you know that in 2001 there was an Among Us game, except that it was on a plane and had two imposters.
I got a new Lego airplane set from my friend... oddly, there were also two towers included in the box as well.
I dropped my phone the other day when a guy picked up my phone and started to put it in his pocket.
I said, "Hey, that's my phone," and he said, "First of all, my name isn't 'Hey', it's Jay. Second of all, it's an iPhone, not a 'myPhone'. Get it right."
You're the sun in my life, now get 93 million miles away from me.
Have you ever seen a baby unicorn? No! Because unicorns are gay rainbows in equine form.
My family is like an apple tree. My sister is that ugly one that has to rot in.
What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common? They both let little kids sit on their lap.
Your mom saw Uranus and never was the same in HD. :)
If they made a movie about your sex life, what would it be?
In Afghanistan, it would be "Twelve Years a Slave!" 🤣
Two guys were beating up someone in an alley, so I stepped in to help.
He didn't stand a chance against the three of us.
Yo Mama's so fat... whilst she was walking the streets of London, she accidentally bumped into someone, and that someone yelled, "Stupid American!"
What’s the difference between a dumpster full of dead babies and a Lamborghini?
I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.
When you put the chicken in the oven, it goes down, and the oven explodes. The oven and smoke and everything is fire and on fire and flies to the grass, and all goes back.
What do women and pools have in common?
They both cost a lot of money to maintain for the amount of time you’re inside of them.
What do you call a redhead in a fridge?
I'm pretty sure her name was Kelly.
1950: In the future there will be flying cars.
2018: Pewdiepie shuts down Shane Dawson.
Why can't orphans get 5 stars in GTA? They aren't wanted!
9/11 isn't something we should joke about. Some people can remember where they were when they found out. I'll never forget where I was when I found out.
It was 9:37, September 10th, 2001. I was in a cave in Iraq when my friend Mohammad told me.
Why don’t rappers play hide and seek?
Because good luck finding someone who’s always in the booth!