INS jokes

Nun

    • A man gets on a bus and ends up sitting next to a very attractive nun. Enamored with her, he asks if he can have sex with her. Naturally, she says no and gets off the bus. The man goes to the bus driver and asks him if he knows of a way for him to have sex with the nun.

    "Well," says the bus driver, "every night at 8 o'clock, she goes to the cemetery to pray. If you dress up as God, I'm sure you could convince her to have sex with you."

    The man decides to try it, and dresses up in his best God costume. At eight, he sees the nun and appears before her.

    "Oh, God!" she exclaims. "Take me with you!" The man tells the nun that she must first have sex with him to prove her loyalty. The nun says yes, but tells him she prefers anal sex. Before you know it, they're getting down to it, having nasty, grunty, loud sex. After it's over, the man pulls off his God disguise.

    "Ha, ha! I'm the man from the bus!"

    "Ha, ha!" says the nun, removing her costume. "I'm the bus driver!"

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    • Victim

    • Why are 9/11 victims the fastest readers in the world?

    Because they went through 90 stories in just 10 seconds!

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    • INS memes

    Fish

    • Thomas Montgomery would eat his fillet of fish in bed every night. He had fillet of fish bedding and everything. His roommates always asked him, "Why are you eating your fillet of fish in bed?" He wouldn't reply.

    His family took him to the best psychologist in the field. Thomas continued emptying his bank account on fillet of fish to eat in bed. His friend said one day, took a picture of Thomas and told him to say cheese. They laughed and went there separate ways. Then in bed that night, Thomas kept on thinking to himself, "I never said cheese before someone snapped my picture." He repeated it again. The next day he thanked his friend, "Fillet in him feel better."

  • 0

    • Emo kid

    • How many Emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    None, they all sit in the dark and cry.

  • 0

    • Cartoon

    • When I was little, I used to think that the people in cartoons were real people...until I turned 7. I realized that it was just people doing voices. Sad, isn't it?

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    • Gun

    • Why is a gun like a box of chocolates?

    If you pull one out in class, everyone wants to be your friend.

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    • Coma

    • A man wakes from a coma. His wife changes out of her black clothes and, irritated, remarks, “I really cannot depend on you in anything, can I!”

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    • Computer

    • Mother: "Sweetie, make a Christmas wish."

    Girl: "I wish that Santa will send some clothes to those naked girls in papa's computer."

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    • Bathroom

    • Boy: Can I go to the bathroom?

    Teacher: If you sing the ABCs.

    Boy: ABCDEFGHIJKLMNORSTUVWXYZ!

    Teacher: Where’s the P?

    Boy: In my pants! Lol. That’s all mates! Have a good day! (Or night)

    Day

    • Falco: Dreaming of a day when I don’t hear people say I’m a knockoff Fox, knockoff Fox.

    Fox: Dreaming of a day when you die in a fire and I get all your aerial skills.

    Falco: Wat…

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