INS jokes

I heard that to slow the growth of fire, you use a flame retardant.

So I threw my stupid son in the flames when my house caught on fire!

The devil's number is 346 because you will be in jail.

A man marries a blonde chick, lives a happy life together, and the man asks his wife if she wants kids. She says "yes".

So, a couple of years go by, and they have one boy and one girl. They go to school, go home with their report cards, and the dad asks what their grades were. The son says he's not doing well, same with the daughter. They ask why they're doing so bad in school, and the dad replies with "ask your mother that question!"

So, once upon a time, there was a man who lived in his house with his wife.

He got up to go out to work and closed the front door behind him.

Not even four seconds later, he came back inside panicking, saying, "There's a rabbit with a gun outside!"

The wife replied, "Oh, don't worry, rabbits don't have guns. They can't shoot people; you must be imagining things."

The man calmed down for a few minutes, and after some reassuring, he eventually decided to try to go back out to work again.

So he stepped outside the front door, and the rabbit shot him.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender said, "Why the long face?"

A man sees a woman. He falls in love with her. Little did he know she had AIDS.

What do you say to a kid in a trash compactor?

You looking a little square.

When I went to the doctor, he pulled his wife in and said, "What do you see?"

I replied, "A fat bitch." He said, "Ok, your eyesight is perfect."

You would think catholic churches would be in favor of condoms: less DNA evidence.

We're all unique, which is something we all have in common.

Will you remember me in 7 years?

(Yes)

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Man, abortion jokes just don't get old, do they?

In fact, they don't age at all.

What does a Travis Scott concert and the Titanic cabin have in common? The music doesn’t stop when people start dying.

Roses are red, violets are blue, A face like yours belongs in a zoo. Don't worry, I'll be there with you, But not in the cage, but laughing at you.

Hey guys! Want to know something cool? Google Jesus' language. It's Aramaic.

Next, google "God in Aramaic". See the results for yourself. <3

What do an Olympic silver medalist and a Catholic priest have in common?

A: They both come in a little behind.

Why does it take three women with PMS to screw in a lightbulb?

IT JUST DOES!!!!

Deja-poo.

The sense or feeling you have dealt with this crap in the past.

In a normal country, they have lemonade. In Soviet Russia, they have Leninade: "Refresh yourself with a cold war."

Today I went to the doctor for a test, and he said I have 10 months to live.

So later that day I stabbed him to death, and the judge sentenced me for 15 years in prison. Problem solved!