INS jokes
Your mum sunk in the pool because she had a big butt.
I have a big bag of Doritos in the kitchen. It's only for people who are skinny, but the fat people can't have any. All they do is suck it up like a lollipop.
"We got a number one victory royale, yeah Fortnite we boutta get down! Get down! Ten kills on the board right now, just wiped out tomato town! My friend's gone down, I revived him now we're heading southbound! Now we're in the pleasant park street, look at the map, go to the marked sheet!"
A 6-year-old girl decides to get baptized. She walks into the water of the river. Unfortunately, the pastor was drunk. The pastor put her in the water and dunked her under. The drunken man then forgot to bring her up from the water. The poor girl drowned and died...
Later on, when the pastor was better and thrown in jail, all he had to say to the mortified family was, “Well, at least she’s in heaven!”
You're really special.
But the R in special is silent.
Why was the mountain in love with the volcano?
Because the volcano was hot!
A Jew and a Jew walk into a bar. The goy says, "What do you want?" The first Jew says, "Give it alcohol." The second Jew says, "My son ran away and became Christian." Another Jew pipes in, he says, "My son too!" The bartender turns around and says, "You're not going to believe this..."
I went shopping, and then to the hospital, and then to bed, and then I promised to only say "and" once in a sentence.
A drunk guy runs into a bar... He bangs his head and falls down, why?
Because he is in a prison cell.
Friend 1: How can the skeleton tell it was going to rain?
Me: He could feel it in his bones.
Friend 1: No, he read the forecast, you fucking idiot!
Heheh ;3
What is the difference between a human and a human being in a wheelchair?
What is the best thing about gay people?
They're gay about being gay even though they're gonna get shot in the USA. Wait, that rhymes!
Guys, I guess with all these storms there was a power cut in his house.
If it is someone's birthday, say this for a joke:
"A long time ago in a far away galaxy...
YOU WERE BORN!"
What's the difference between 13 dead babies and a skeleton?
There aren't any, there's 13 skeletons in my closet.
What do you call a baby in the shower? A baby in the shower.
People with wheelchairs listen to "Rolling in the Deep" by Adele.
How did they know that Princess Diana had dandruff?
They found her Head and Shoulders in the glove box.
Free blacks in the Civil War is the same as me drawing a reverse card in Uno.
Stephen Hawking didn't die, he got sucked up by the black hole then got sent to the large charger in the sky.