INS jokes
A guy is walking down the street when he almost steps in something. He looks down and says, "Looks like shit."
He crouches down and smells it, "Smells like shit."
He sticks his finger in, tastes it, "Tastes like shit."
He then smiles and says, "Well, good thing I didn't step on it!"
One time I was with my uncle. He said to me to pass him the marble on the floor. All I heard was my butt clapping with his sausage.
Your forehead is so big your mum spent an extra hour in the birth delivery room.
Mom, am I adopted?
What? No. "In head" No, dah, bitch.
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?
The Virgin Mobile.
Want to hear a joke? Just look in the mirror!
Yo mama is so pretty, she could get in a car crash because boys are staring at her.
What do school shooting jokes and school shooting victims have in common? They never get old.
I put the Christmas balls in my sack.
Why did the sick juice tree go to the hospital? Because it needed lemin-ade (not the cool type of sick, the one where you are in the hospital). Lemin-ade 1st ade.
I got my son a bike for his birthday. The ungrateful fucker just sat in his wheelchair all day crying.
What do you call a burning orphan in a wheelchair? Hot Wheels.
What hit the ground first, the orphan or the apple? The apple. The orphan never hit the ground.
What do orphans and apples have in common?
Only one gets picked.
What goes in hard and dry but comes out soft and wet?
Gum.
What do you call an animal in space? Just death because you need a spacesuit.
Your momma is so fat, when she got in the Pacific, she became the Pacific Ocean.
Your mama's so ugly, she got everything for free.
In Ohio, people walk with their hands.
What's gayer than a gangbang in a man sex ring?
Not slapping the ass at Hooters.
What do you call someone in a wheelchair with a gun? A rxd.
I was playing Fortnite with a kid, then I heard their emo sister in the background, and it sounded like they were playing Fortnite, too, with the pistol shot and all.