INS jokes
It's been raining for days. My wife is totally depressed. She keeps looking through the window. If this keeps up, I'll have to let her in.
Ever wondered why Chinese kids don’t believe in Santa?
They made the toys.
Raju: How about you, Sunil?
Do you know?
Sanju: Sunil is my long distance
is a brother.
Raju: Long brother?
Sanju: Yes, because I live in Ratnagiri and he lives in Nagpur.
When your crush walks in class, but you're homeschooled...
I didn't break my back in the accident, thankfully.
But I can break yours today, hopefully.
What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable?
Putting her back in the wheelchair when you're done.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims: they went through a hundred stories in 10 seconds.
Your hairline so back that back in the day of your hairline, Burger King was called "Burger Prince."
Why should you put an autistic person in a refrigerator?
Because otherwise you’ll get a rotten vegetable.
(Not meant to be triggering).
Why was the entire population emo in the 1920s?
Because it was the Great Depression.
Did you know there's a place in Germany called Hanover?
Must be lots of drunks there.
Why don't lesbians have sex in the morning?
Have you ever tried pulling apart a grilled cheese?
A Chinese boy never met his parents after they were killed in WW2, so when he learned where they were buried, he quickly rushed there.
He sat down in front of their graves and prayed, "I want to see your face again, mommy..." A miracle happened; his mother rose up from the graves and hugged him.
The boy cried then said, "I want to see you too, dad." He looked at his father's grave, but nothing happened.
Suddenly, a Japanese soldier came up behind him and asked, "Were you looking for me?"
My mother-in-law would have been on one of the planes that crashed on 9/11.
Had I known in advance, I would have bought her the ticket.
What do British politics and transgender people have in common?
Both aren't what they used to be...
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims, they went through 42 stories in 7 seconds.
Are you a gun, because I would be your bullets because I love going in children.
Why doesn't Barbie ever get pregnant? Because Ken comes in a different box!
I was in Afghanistan and I had been captured by the Taliban. I was going to get the death penalty.
Suddenly a man came out of nowhere and offered to take the penalty. It was my idolo Penaldo. He missed the penalty. Now I will die. Shame on u Penaldo!
Person: Hey, do you know what's the best thing in life?
...
You do realize that I said nothing, right?
Me: Exactly :)