INS jokes
Want to hear a joke? Just look in the mirror!
Man, I am jealous of the victims of 9/11. They are the fastest readers, who went through 87 stories in 8 seconds.
My friend told me that he saw a yacht went close in to the yeti's eye, so I said to my friend, "Did the yeti kiss?" But my friend said, "No, the yeti have to play games every single day, or the yeti will die."
How to make an orphan's feet bleed? Make them run in place until their parents get them.
You're in Australia. Your forehead is the reason why Africa is so hot.
How did the rich save the poor?
They didn't let them in the Titanic.
What do an M&M and juice have in common?
Window.
I bought my son a trampoline. That little a**hole stayed in his wheelchair the whole day.
How do you get ten babies in a bucket?
With a blender.
Three Europeans come to America. They all get captured by Native Americans, and they want to kill them. But the Europeans beg to have their lives spared.
The Native Americans agreed to not kill them on one condition: The Europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit, and they will be informed what to do with it. So the first guy comes back with a peach. The Native American says, "Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you." So, he shoves the peach up his ass, and he laughs, and the Native Americans kill him.
The second guy comes back with a grape. The Native American tells him the same thing. He laughs and the Native American kills him. They both see each other in heaven and the first guy says to the second guy, "I had a peach, and peaches are fuzzy, so that's why I laughed, but you had a grape, what happened?"
The second guy says, “Oh yeah, I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a pineapple!”
Me: Ice woman diary: a witch's tin key.
Other: What? You said, "I swim in diarrhea, which is stinky?"
The phrase “Muslim women live in one of the hottest countries in the world and they can’t even expose their legs” has two meanings.
Yesterday, I saw a "woman's rights" book in the library, so I put it in the fiction section and got kicked out.
My friend asked me to describe myself in 3 words...
"Lazy."
What do you call field day in Africa?
The Hunger Games.
This isn't a joke, I repeat, this is not a joke. The plane in Lake Harriet is not in the lake. It is invisible because of the satellite pic, so there's no plane in Lake Harriet.
Titanic jokes sink in. Pun intended.
My mom told me to look for a bill in her file at her home office. Instead, I grabbed my sister's adoption papers.
Johny Sin's son checked his father's folder of p*rn in his laptop.
and found that in all the videos his father is...
Knock knock. Who's there? Colin! Colin who? Colonisation!
Just kidding, colonisers don't knock before they come in.