INS jokes

What is the scariest thing you'll ever see in your life? James Charles thinking he has rights.

What do a Catholic priest and an Olympic silver medalist have in common? A: They both come in a little behind.

What do you call a black person in a dark room?

Invisible.

What's thick and has ice in it when you take it out of a blender?

A baby smoothie.

Son: Dad, I have black skin and you have white skin, are you sure you're my parents?

Dad: Oh... well I never thought it would come to this, or to your head that you were kidnapped...

Son: Am I kidnapped?

Dad: Well, you're adopted, and if you want to see your biological parents, they’ll be waiting for you in heaven.

There was a new kid in my school. The first thing the teacher said was, "Me, you, the basement NOW!"

You're so ugly that everytime you look up in the sky, God says, "Sorry, can't help you."

What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can't be found.

I drew a picture of a whale in the ocean. My brother asked, "What are you drawing?" I said, "You taking a shower."

Being a police officer in Nunavut must be so fun. They get to play Cut the Rope on the job all the time!

I named my refrigerator Oicurmt, because every time I look in, I say, "O I C, U R MT."

What turns green to red in a flick of a switch?

A frog in a blender.

You can't YEE your last HAW!

But I put my BALLS in ur JAW.

What do the Twin Towers and murder victims have in common?

Both were owned by their own kind.

I was at a funeral for some kids in a school shooting. I don't understand why everyone was so sad, so I asked a lady, "what's so sad?" and she said "What do you think was running through these kid's heads before they died?" I replied "probably a bullet". She gasped and said "do you have any idea how insensitive that is? What do you think is running through their parent's heads?" I said "probably all the money they're losing from this funeral."

What's the difference between baby Jesus and the baby I keep in my basement?

Baby Jesus died a virgin.

How did the Scottish man find the sheep in the tall grass?

Satisfying.

What do you get when you dip a duck in blue paint?

A very pissed duck.

I had a terrifying experience last night. I was alone in the house having a bath... when all of a sudden... I felt a tap on my shoulder.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to have a little fun.

Jack got mad and kicked Jill in the ass because she couldn't make him cum.