INS jokes

The "f" in "orphan" means family, even though there's no "f."

Q: My scale had my phone number on it. Wandering why, I looked up only to see an elephant in my face...

Guys, add me in Discord.

Why are grapes never alone?

Because they hang out in a bunch!

Looking at me is like being on your phone, in a car, on a long trip. You're fine for the first 10 minutes, then after that you feel sick.

My bad, I kick me bad in if balls, and he got so fucking mad.

Nobody: The crickets in the back: Talk talk talk.

Me: JOE MAMA OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

"You think THAT'S bad?!? Remember the time I was in Paris with Donny de Francovich?"

Why did the robot eat a lightbulb?

'Cause he was in need of a light snack!

I hate sitting in traffic, I always get run over.

I was watching the London Marathon one year, and I saw two runners in costumes. One of them was dressed a chicken and the other dressed as an egg. I thought: "This'll be interesting."

I just wanted to say whoever is a faker pretending to be me, that you are literally ruining my life right now. And I can literally not take this right now in life and that I just want peace so please, please stop.

I wanna see this pic of me in a bra! Where do I find it?

How do you organize a rave party in Ethiopia? Just put some bread on the ceiling.

What do you tell twins who are in love with each other?

Go fuck yourself!

Why do orphans like the game Adopt Me? Because they've never been adopted in their life.

When you get to feel a dick in you, then suck bro, all your stress [goes] out the window.

"Prince, I'm ready to chat when you are. I'm in bed, so yeah, let's chat! Love you!"

Why did you put your dirty ass feet in my grits without telling me all this?

Because I forgot to wash and dry them with a paper towel.

Hey, my man, why you got them damn old, stanky-looking Whoopi Goldberg cornrows on you head? Are y'all twins, or boyfriend and girlfriend, 'cause if y'all are, go get married in Color Purple land.