INS jokes

Car

    • Why is parking a car like finding a girlfriend?

    All the good ones are taken, so you stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody notices.

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    • Girlfriend

    • A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend says, "Where is your girlfriend?" The guy says, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week."

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    • INS memes

    Poop

    • Jeffy: "Daddy, Daddy, a monster said it’s gonna poop in your hat!"

    Marvin: "I don’t believe that."

    Jeffy: "But he said, 'Jeffy, I’m gonna poop in your Daddy’s hat!'"

    The next morning,

    Jeffy: "Daddy, a monster pooped in your hat!"

    *Marvin/Mario looks in his hat*

    Marvin: "Jeffy, I don’t believe you, you pooped in my hat!"

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    • Halloween

    • A father of five puts on a gas mask and a hazard suit and walks outside, but before he could make it, his son came and asked, "Dad, what are you wearing?"

    The father answered with, "A costume for Halloween."

    The child asked, "Can I join?" He said no, for he said it's their last Halloween. After that, I saw green smoke all over the same house they lived in.

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    • Baby

    • What’s the best part about putting a baby in a blender feet first?

    Watching their expression change.

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    • Fart

    • The teacher asked her class to use "definitely" in a sentence. Little Johnny raised his hand to answer, yet the teacher passed him and went on to Kevin. "The sky is definitely blue." "Very good Kevin, but the sky can also be blue or black," the teacher replied.

    Little Johnny raised his hand again as high as he could, yet the teacher passed right over him and picked Annie from the back of the room. "The grass is definitely green." "Very good Annie, but it can also be brown." Little Johnny was waving his hand like crazy seeking her attention. Finally, she called on him. "Mine's more of a question, but do farts have lumps in them?" "Why no, Johnny, why would you ask such a question?" She questioned. "Well, if they don't have lumps in them, then I definitely just shit myself."

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    • Orphan

    • So an orphan was crying in a corner in the dark. Then a man came over and asked, "Why are you crying?"

    Then said, "Do you want me to get your parents?"

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    • Orphan

    • Do you know the F in "orphan" stands for family?

    There is no F in "orphan".

    Exactly.

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    • Shower

    • Little Jimmy was in the shower singing "Dame Tu Cosita," and her mom heard it and went to the shower, and Jimmy's mom saw Jimmy wearing a bathing suit in the shower, and Jimmy yells "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY SWAMP!"

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    • Kid

    • How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    None, they sit in the dark and cry xdddd.