INS jokes
Why do Jews suck at mugging?
Because all they ask for is the spare change in your pockets.
When I finished playing my guitar, I noticed an amputee in the crowd not giving me a round of applause.
How many Bay Street bankers does it take to change a light bulb?
In Toronto? One to hold it up and expect the entire country to revolve around them.
Who is the Hamburglar's perverted cousin?
The Turdburglar.
You really do not want to see the mess these two make of the washrooms in a fast food joint.
When the police caught him stealing batteries, he was immediately charged.
The cops are accusing him of resisting. He's now languishing in a cell, where he is currently awaiting an appearance in Circuit Court.
If African immigrants are supposed to stay in their country, why can't their resources do the same?
What do George Floyd and Jordan Neely have in common?
Both can't breathe.
I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places.
He told me to stop going to those places.
What do Michael Vick and John Wick have in common?
Got into deep shit when it came to dogs.
How many police officers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They wait for it to turn itself in.
What do you do in India when you need to tell the time but don't have the money for a watch?
You bob your head from side to side like a metronome.
Why should you shoot a homeless crackhead in the head?
Because they're basically zombies.
What do Donald Trump and a dick have in common?
Liberals can't keep either one out of their mouths.
What do atoms and parents have in common to orphans? You can't see either of them.
When it comes to mosquitoes in Africa, should you feel bad that they're getting AIDS from their victims?
Yo Mama so fat, she could fit you in her stomach.
I woke up in my bed today.
What is a gay person's favorite fast food place?
Jack(off) in the Box.
Your hairline is so back down, it is in your neck.
My friend went to the zoo yesterday. There was only one dog in a crate.
He said it was a Shitzoo!