INS jokes
What is Gaten Matarazzo's favorite song?
"Dust in the Wind."
There was a new kid in my school. The first thing the teacher said was, "Me, you, the basement NOW!"
I met a gay guy last night.
Man, was he a pain in the ass.
Momma's House-By-watersharky Productions and Dustin Lynch- I see your face on every street, every corner, couple trees. Even got her name on 'em. I feel your love, I hear your laugh, got them take me way on back. Hurt me memories, I don't want 'em. Up and down the boulevard. In and out of every bar. I'd burn this whole town down. Pick a spot, dig a hole, put them ashes in the ground. Baby, I'd burn this whole town down. If it wasn't for my momma's house, my momma's house. Damn girl, why'd you have to break it like that? Leaving pieces of my shattered heart scattered like glass. I'd burn this whole town down. If it wasn't for my momma's house, my momma's house. I would start it where we started, at the downtown party Where you kissed my lips and stole my beer. The city park in the dark where we looked up at the stars Watched them fireworks pop last year. It started under that Texaco sign where you said goodbye I'd get some gas and drop a match right there. I'd burn this whole town down. Pick a spot, dig a hole, put them ashes in the ground. Baby, I'd burn this whole town down. If it wasn't for my momma's house, my momma's house. Damn girl, why'd you have to break it like that? Leaving pieces of my shattered heart scattered like glass. I'd burn this whole town down. If it wasn't for my momma's house, my momma's house. Fire red flames, sunsets in the sky Going out, staying in, staying up long nights. Now I'm waking up alone, wishing I could move on Blocked your number in my phone, thought it help but it don't. I'd burn this whole town down. Pick a spot, dig a hole, put them ashes in the ground. Baby, I'd burn this whole town down. If it wasn't for my momma's house, my momma's house. Damn girl, why'd you have to break it like that? Leaving pieces of my shattered heart scattered like glass. I'd burn this whole town down. If it wasn't for my momma's house, my momma's house.
Me: How do cowboys say hello?
Friend: Howdy.
Me: How do deez nuts fit in your mouth?
Two boys were arguing in class one day when the teacher walked into the classroom.
The teacher asked them, "Why are you arguing?"
One of the boys replied, "We found a ten dollar bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie."
"You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher. "When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was."
The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.
What do me and a casino machine have in common? It takes about 50 pumps to get to the jackpot.
What do dicks and Rubik's Cubes have in common?
The more you play with them, the harder they get.
Why was Wacko Jacko willing to write a song for the film Free Willy?
He thought that the film's title was a nice phrase to yell out in primary school playgrounds.
I read to deaf kids in my spare time.
When you're in the World Trade Center and you connect to airplane wifi.
What is worse than a baby getting hanged in a tree?
That same baby getting hanged in multiple trees.
I just heard that the inventor of the autocorrect died the other day.
May he rest in pizza.
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
They can't see their parents.
Become an anti-furry for free KFC and dead orphans in your basement.
What does my dad and the Twin Towers have in common? They used to be with us, now it's just a sensitive topic.
What do ambulances and gay men have in common? They both take it in the back and go whoop whoop! :D
Gwen, can we chat in this link?
Why does Michael Jackson do positions with kids in photos? Because they won’t do the same for him.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, In your presence, my love, Every moment feels new.