INS jokes
How does the cheetah do in every race?
It’s always a cheetah.
Every woman will die in five seconds.
Mother: Dies.
Sister: Dies.
Girlfriend: Lives.
You: 🤬
What happens when you put a baby in a blender?
The baby is a cherry smoothie.
How many heterosexual men does it take to change a lightbulb in heaven?
Both of them.
What do you get when you put an ape's brain in a gorilla? A feminist!
me in thanksgiving
I saw a pretty girl walking outside. I asked for her number.
We met up and began to have sex. She told me to turn over, which was weird. I felt a stinging pain in my ass all of a sudden.
Waluigi gets his Walu-weenie stuck in a vending machine!
Yo momma's so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.
This category is messed up.
My Mom died in 9/11, at least she was doing what she loved, flying planes.
Why couldn’t the toilet paper make it across the road?
It got stuck in a crack.
You're so skinny that if I were to put you on a flagpole, you would wave in the wind.
What to do when you're bored? Punch an orphan in the face. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
I always park in handicapped spaces at the hospital.
Just to test their patients.
What do you call a person in America that is not a retard?
A foreign exchange student.
What's the difference between a flower and an orphan?
One is allowed in the house.
I guess in British chess they play without a queen...
But in American chess they play without two towers.
What do the Twin Towers and school have in common?
People jumped off a building to escape it.
Hi, my name is Uncle Joe, and I like kids in a way that makes their parents not trust me anymore.
Guess what, everybody? I'm dumb in math. I'm dumb and stupid at math.
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
They both can't see their parents.