INS jokes
What's tall, has a twin, and is in Manhattan?
Nothing, Bin Laden destroyed them all.
What do pigs and ink have in common?
They both go in a pen.
Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants?
Because they'll get a hole in one!
Okay, One time I there was my dog. But then the dog, it fell.
Then I f**ked my dog hard in the a**.
What is the funniest hill in the world called? Hill-arious!
What do lemons 🍋 wear in the rain?
Yellow jackets.
What do Monica and Bill Clinton have in common? They both did not inhale. Lol.
I put the D in Children.
How do you fit 1000 babies in a swimming pool?
A blender.
How do you get them out? Slurp them up with a straw.
What's worse than 2 dead babies in a trash bin? Two babies in one trash bin.
Why do I carry pepper spray?
Just in case of as-SAULT.
Some moving men had just begun their day's work.
The first thing they brought into the house was a huge couch.
The owner came in and asked how everything was going. They replied, "Sofa so good."
The man was absolutely delighted to find that every lamp in his house was stolen.
Why do orphans have 363 days in a year?
Because they don't have a mother's or father's day.
Why are there only 363 days in an orphaned year?
Because they don’t have a father's or Mother’s Day.
What to do when you're bored? Punch an orphan in the face. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
What do McDonald's and priests have in common?
They both shove their meat into 10-year-old buns.
This isn't an orphan joke, but I got a job at a library, but it only lasted 15 minutes. Turns out, books about women’s rights shouldn’t go in the Sci-Fi / Fantasy section.
What would be the most heartbreaking scene in a dementia film? I forgor 💀.
My sister is the weird dark one and emo of the family. I'm the bright happy one. Once in 3rd grade, I got a huge A on mine, and my sis got a D-.
In the playground near a tree, we were sitting and playing. I said, "Hey, a C- is not that bad," and raised my hand up to give her a high five, but she left me hanging.