INS jokes
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9. So what was 10 scared of? Because he was in the middle of 9, 11.
Knock knock.
Who's there? It's the Grim Reaper.
Grim Reaper who?
The Grim Reaper who is about to come in your house, smoke some weed, drink some Grim Reaper liquor, and then get drunk.
I tell a man, "Get me a Glock 19." He comes back with a glove. I was about to shout at him, but then I saw a pistol in his pocket, so I left and thanked him.
What do you call an Indian man stuck in a tree?
A leaf.
Your mama so fat, when she put a leg in the car, the wheels deflated.
When your dad asks what you want for dinner in a group chat…..
Why would you leave a damn gorilla out in the middle of the parking lot after you let the zookeeper bring a chimpanzee home from the zoo because me and the gorilla had too much to drink?
What do kids call a balanced meal?
A hamburger in each hand! XD XD XD XD
What was the most famous skeleton detective in the world? Sherlock Bones!
I wish the grass in my back lawn was emo, because then it would cut itself.
If you're sleeping, and you fall in your dream, you may have died, and the angels dropped you.
Or you don't wake up, and you were on your way to hell.
Type this in your calculator:
5 days a week (type in 5),
6 different classes (type in 6),
7 hours a day (type in 7),
x
2 semesters (type in 2),
=
flip the calculator over ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°).
Words that have "ho" in them:
Thot
Whore
Asshole
Horrible
Horena (my ex gf)
We can nip March Madness in the bud, but only if we detect the warning signs of brooding, anti-social February Fever.
They struggled to lift the weights, but I got watermelon to keep me in shape.
Confucius say, "Man who sit in church and fart must sit in pew."
When I get naked in the bathroom... the shower usually gets turned on!
I dropped my phone the other day when a guy picked up my phone and started to put it in his pocket.
I said, "Hey, that's my phone," and he said, "First of all, my name isn't 'Hey', it's Jay. Second of all, it's an iPhone, not a 'myPhone'. Get it right."
What comes next in the pattern, ottffs?
S, because it represents numbers going up: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven.
One day, I sit in the lounge on a chair.
If you put an amputee with no limbs in a snuggie, it becomes a stubbie.