What is the most popular fish in the ocean? "A starfish."
What do you call a candle in armor?
A knight light
In school, we learned that squirrels stick their nuts in trees. So, just like my uncle dave...
When I saw a girl sitting on the ground crying
When I asked her where her parents were, she cried louder
That’s why I like to volunteer in an orphanage
how do you fit 100 babies in a bowl? a blender. how do you get them out? tortilla chips.
What do Michael Jackson and the Captain from the Spongebob theme song have in common? They both say "are you ready kids?"
I took my mother-in-law out yesterday morning. Damn, I love being a sniper
I was watching the local chief police in America, he said we will never forget 911. I thought i should hope not its your phone number.
Only one of Kenny's girlfriends has ever said he's good in bed. But she has to. She's his mom.
Dr. Seuss Died September 24 but that was a lie Dr. Seuss when he was 97 he stole a plane and the last rhyme he did was “up in the sky so very far he comes Dr. Seuss allahuakbar”
How do you circumcise a hill billy....... Kick his sister in the jaw
What do a shopping cart and a wheel chair have in common... they both carry vegetables
Why do women rub their eyes in the morning?
Because they don't have balls.
If a man drove over a woman, whose fault was it?
The man, because he shouldn't be driving in the kitchen.
What do you call a terrorist in a kids swimming pool
A bath bomb
sooo... I just got kicked out of the orphanage library for putting a book about parents in the fiction section
How many emos does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None they just sit in the dark and cry.
Why does the blonde stand in a corner when she's cold? -- Because it's 90 degrees.
Yo mama like a penny: two faced, worthless and in everybody’s pants
I'm funny but sad I submit jokes you'll love. Look for my name in jokes you've read. Anyway.
What did the man with no hands get for his birthday? Gloves. Just kidding he didn't have the chance to open the gifts.
