INS jokes
What will happen if someone kicks you right in the balls?
You will be like, "Ow, my nuts!"
When does it rain money?
When there's a change in the weather.
There was always that one specific person you thought ruined your life, but it turns out your life has always been ruined by you being in it.
A teacher asked a class who killed Goliath. The first pupil said he wasn’t the one. The second said he doesn’t know. No one knew in the class.
The teacher got furious and dashed to the Head Master’s office to report. Immediately, the head master followed him back to the class with a cane. He growled- “If no one tells me who killed Goliath in this class, you will see fire!” Everyone in the class insisted on the fact that it wasn’t them.
Then the Head master looked at the teacher and said- “Mr. Dapo, are you sure that the person who killed Goliath is in this class?” The teacher fainted.
Teacher: What do you want to be when you grow up?
That depressed kid in class: Dead.
COVID-19 won't last long... it's made in China.
My friend Amir didn’t have the greatest driving record because of all the car crashes he got in. He only crashed his plane once in a building, so he had a much better flying record.
Why do you pay cash for the metro train in Newcastle upon Tyne?
You know why Elmer Fudd always came out hunting rabbits in the woods? Because Bugs Bunny would not stop flirting with his girlfriend.
What do Michael Jackson and caviar have in common? They both come on little white crackers.
What is a four-legged animal called that can fly?
A donkey flying in the sky running away from me.
What was a pedophile's hardest thing? Fitting in!
Doctor: What makes you feel depressed?
Me: Seeing others happy.
Doctor: Ok, so what makes you happy?
Me: Seeing stupid people in misery or agony.
Doctor: Well, that's rather sadistic.
Me: Well, statistically one in two doctors have fingered a child...
Doctor: Do you want your prescription or shall I book you an endoscopy?
Me: There's nothing hidden inside me, I'm empty "smug face".
What did the priest say to the other in the orphanage?
"Let us prey together."
Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!
What's worse than Sally in a trash can? Sally in thirteen trash cans.
Why are modern women trash?
Because back in the day, a woman knew her place.
Why do orphans like to be robbers in cops and robbers?
So they will be wanted.
These two cannibals are sitting by the campfire having dinner. One says, "I can't stand my mother-in-law." The other says, "So, just eat the potatoes."
What's the difference between the Queen's death and Princess Diana's death? The Queen died in peace, not pieces.
Bro, Kobe Bryant is singing with the basketball team in his helicopter, celebrating right now, I bet.
Oh wait, I forgot.