INS jokes
I walked into a supermarket to get some ordinary clothes for the wife. Then I realized I was in a rape museum.
Me explaining my child: when your mom is sitting on a table during her period, it's called the periodic table.
I told the ugly friend in my friend group that when they daydream, they shouldn't picture themselves because it will just ruin it.
Why don’t orphans live in villages?
Because they will get abandoned.
Girl: I’m so in love with you!
Boy: Me too. I think you’re abcdefghijk: aesthetic, beautiful, cool, determined, elegant, famous, hot.
Girl: What’s the ijk?
Boy: I’m just kidding.
Back in my day, the chicken dance was where the hen got raped by an angry pack of roosters.
Yo mama is so ugly, when she looked in the mirror, it cracked.
Sorry, what’s the quickest way to get to the hospital? Easy, just stand in the middle of a busy road.
It’s amazing just how paranoid Hitler was.
In Hitler’s Germany, it was illegal to make jokes about him or his regime.
Come on! Forbidding Germans from making jokes? Isn’t that a bit like forbidding Americans from eating salad?
How many emos does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they sit in the dark and cry.
What do babies and explosives have in common?
They both make a noise when you throw them.
Yo mama is so old that when she was in history class as a kid, all they learned about was themselves!
So, if Russia was the motherland and Germany was the fatherland, what does that mean?
The Western Front is domestic violence.
Yo mama so fat,
Donald Trump himself tried to use her as his border wall in 2016.
Every kid in a classroom is relevant, because if one of them gets shot, they will all be featured on the news.
Let's have toast in the bath.
The F in "I'm orphan" stands for family.
But there is no F.
Why don't dwarfs have cars?
Because they can't get in the door.
Why are orphans lucky?
Because they can get in trouble and nobody can tell their parents.
You dream in 4K.