INS jokes
Person 1: How the freak did you get in my house?!?! I locked the door!!!
Person 2: But I'm your mom... I have a key. You dumbass.
I just got kicked out of the fucking library for putting the women's rights in the fiction section.
Have you ever seen a baby unicorn? No! Because unicorns are gay rainbows in equine form.
A man is driving down the road and runs over a rabbit. He slams on his brakes, gets out, and walks up to the flattened bunny. The bunny is obviously expired.
A passing car slams on its brakes and screeches to a halt. The driver of that car runs up to the bunny, pulls out an aerosol can, and sprays the bunny with the aerosol spray. The bunny jumps up, runs a few feet, then stops, turns around, and waves its paw at the two men. Runs away a few more feet, stops, turns around, and waves at the two men. Runs away a few more feet, stops, turns around, and waves at the two men. He continues to do this until he’s out of sight.
The first driver looks at the man with the aerosol can and says, “Wow, that is amazing! What is in that can?” The man looks at the can and reads the label, “Hair restorer, with a permanent wave.”
Some kid in a wheelchair called me fat.
I told her, "Do a wheelie!"
A kid in a wheelchair got hurt yesterday. I got detention yesterday because I told him to walk it off.
What’s the difference between masturbation and brain damage?
After a few strokes, there’s no going back.
"Popcorn" means "Photo-Oxidant formation by Plant-emitted Compounds and OH Radicals in Northeastern Germany."
"HO" means a woman, in particular one who has many casual sexual encounters or relationships. So basically, popcorn is a woman in plant based sex encountered a lot in a nazi camp.
What do emo kids and Hitler have in common?
There's gonna be more brains on the wall when they lose something.
Two friends were walking in a forest. They started to fight.
A cannibal came and shouted, "Food fight!"
I didn't ask: ❌
I'm sorry, but it doesn't seem that anyone needed this information, and there doesn't seem to be any chance anyone will need this information in the future. ✔️
Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.
That made my father very mad, as we didn't have a fireplace.
What does Marine stand for?
My Ass Rides In Navy Equipment.
There's a new Michael Jackson biopic in the works. There is a possibility that we will know who his love interest was.
What we know so far: Billie Jean is not his lover, and that kid [seen with him] is not his son. We also know that Michael Jackson said that sharing his bed with little boys is "healing" and an act of "sharing the love," so take that as you will.
I bet you $12345678901234567890 that you didn't read that number and you didn't notice that I put a letter in it. No, I didn't, but you went back and looked, didn't you?
Can bees fly in the rain?
Not if they don't have their yellow jackets!
When a baby was born to a slave, did the slave owners hang a "Bred in Captivity" sign above the crib?
How do u get a depressed person out of a tree?
You cut the rope they hung themself in...
A man and a cow are stuck on train tracks, and there is a train in the distance about to hit both of them. A vegan sees this and tries to help. Who does he save, the man or the cow?
Neither. He isn't strong enough to lift either of them.
If Will Smith could be in any movie, he would be in "Find My Hairline."