INS jokes

Oven

    • What did Gordon Ramsay say to Hitler?

    “Oh my god, put them back in the damn ovens! They’re so under-cooked they’re writing fucking diaries!”

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    • Sex

    • I saw a pretty girl walking outside. I asked for her number.

    We met up and began to have sex. She told me to turn over, which was weird. I felt a stinging pain in my ass all of a sudden.

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    • INS memes

    Wheelchair

    • The guy in the wheelchair at my gym can do so many pull-ups with the wheelchair on, but I said to him, "Don't skip leg day."

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    • Child

    • I found a child on the street homeless, and they were really nice, so I took them home. Then I said, "Who's better, Biden or Trump?" They said they support Trump. They are now dead in my basement and have been for 3 years.

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    • Job

    • My mom told me that she got a new job & I don't have to leave the house.

    Then my mom told all my customers are the men that live in our neighborhood.

    Then I ask what is your job call. My mom said job hand, then I said job and or is hand job.

    My mom said yeah that it. My mom said I'm good at my job that why all the males are always knocking at the door.

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    • Rape

    • The reason why women have suffered longer than men is because men are using women and abusing them as tools and property, which they aren’t.

    During WWII, women were used every day by evil men for not being able to have sex with their wives, and Muslim women are being raped, women children are being raped every day while you fucking turds of human shit are making jokes of issues that need to stop, so stop with the homophobia, Islamophobia, biphobia and all the other phobias, make sexual harassment, assault and rape victims' voices heard, we will not stay silent because of this shitty app!

    Also, God created women equally as men, do not mistreat your sisters, mothers, aunts, mother-in-laws. Hope all you rapists, sexual abusers, sexual assaulters rot in hell where you deserve to be, not in this country or any other place, hell is where you belong. 😡🤬🖕🏻🖕🏼🖕🏽🖕🏾🖕🏿

    Masturbation

    • I once masturbated in the bathroom.

    I was looking for something, for a little help.

    Looked in the wardrobe and found something perfect.

    I'LL NEVER SEE A TOOTHBRUSH THE SAME WAY AGAIN!

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    • Lesbian

    • Why don't lesbians have sex in the morning?

    Have you ever tried pulling apart a grilled cheese?

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    • Parking spot

    • Dating in your 30s is like looking for a parking spot...

    The good ones are all taken. The rest are either handicapped or too far away.

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    • Vineyard

    • The wine taster at an old vineyard died. A homeless guy, looking ragged and dirty, came to apply. He persuaded the manager to give him a try.

    The guy was given a glass of wine. He swirled, smelled, sipped, and spit. “It's a red wine, Merlot, three years old, grown on the South Slope and matured in oak barrels,” he said. "Impressive," said the manager.

    The man is given another. “Still a red wine, Cabernet, eight years old, from the Northeast slope, stored in steel vats.”

    The manager was amazed. He winked at his secretary. The secretary understood and brought out a glass of urine. The drunkard tasted it and said, “It's a blond, 27 years old, three months pregnant, and if I don't get this job, I'll tell who the father is!”

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