INS jokes
Guy: Michael Jackson wasn’t in ancient times!
Me: hee hee egypt.
What do you get when you put a baby in a blender?
A boner.
What do you call a wheelchair user in a fire?
Hot Wheels.
What do you call a rare fart in Egypt? A toot uncommon!
What do you call a dolphin in the woods? Dead.
What did the mother say to Michael J. on the beach?
"Excuse me sir, but you're in my son!"
What was the drug addict's favorite nursery rhyme?
I'm a little crack pot short and stout, put that crack pipe in my mouth, sell my body or sell my couch, get that lighter and smoke me out!
What part is usually missing in an orphan’s computer system?
Motherboard.
People on the Titanic were cracking up at my jokes, so did the Titanic. No, really, the Titanic cracked in half!
What do dark humor and kids with cancer have in common? They never get old.
What passengers were happy that the Titanic sank?
The lobsters in the kitchen.
How do you fit 27 New Zealand tourists in a 15-seater bus?
Simple. All in the ashtray.
A lady asked if I heard about the mass shooting in Ohio. I said yes, my friend died there. She said I’m so sorry. I said yeah, I tried telling him the police had good aim. Worse than that, he just found out his sister was cheating on him.
What do emo kids like to do in their spare time?
Hanging out.
My father died in 9/11. It's such a shame. He was a great pilot. 😔
One time in my dream, I had a dream that all people in wheelchairs could walk. It was awesome; I could walk!
How am I an ableist? My ex-girlfriend was in a wheelchair, and we lived in the same old building with a broken elevator. I ended the relationship by moving to the 8th floor.
What's a kind of cat that lives in the water? Octopus.
I called the suicide hotline in Iraq. The person got excited and asked if I can drive a truck.
What’s one good thing about a pedophile?
They drive slow in school zones.