INS jokes

How do we know Stephen is dying in hell?

There’s a stairway to heaven.

I pushed an orphan in a wheelchair into a fire and yelled, "Hot wheels!"

What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange?

I don't keep a trash bag full of oranges in my basement.

In America, 1 in 10 houses has a paedophile.

Not me, I live next to a smoking hot 8-year-old.

At school, this gurl was like, "You're ugly!" And I'm like, "Gurl, your mirror cracks the moment you step in front of it."

Jack and Jill went up the hill so they could fuck in the water. But Jack forgot to use protection and now they have a daughter.

Ariana Grande agrees with me on something: women belong in the kitchen and bedroom.

"Rape[is] the only sign of world peace in this life."

Q: What season can an orphan see their family tree?

A: Fall.

If you don't get it, in the fall trees have no leaves, there [are] just empty branches, like an orphan's tree.

I know this isn't the real chicken wing song, but my version...

"Chicken wing, chicken wing, I want your mommy. Slap her with my hairy salami while she's still yawning."

Make your own chicken wing song and put it in the comments... :)

One day, little Johnny and little Susan were in bible class. Little Susan had been tired that day, so she kept falling asleep. The teacher said to little Susan, "Who is our Lord and Savior?" Little Johnny poked her in the butt with a push pin, and she yelled, "Jesus Christ!" The teacher goes, "That's right, go back to bed." Then, the next thing the teacher asked was, "Who gave up their son for our sins?" Little Johnny poked her again, and she yelled, "God Almighty!" The teacher says, "That's right, go back to bed." The next question the teacher asked was, "What did Adam say to Eve after their 13th child?" Little Johnny poked her in the butt again. She yelled, "If you stick that thing in me again, I am going to break it in half and shove it up your own ass and see how you like it!"

You could be sitting alone and still be the dumbest person in the room.

There's a saying that goes, "Only gay men know how to dress." Of course they know how to dress! They were in the closet!

What do you call a guy that's high in a wheelchair?

A baked potato.

What would Donald Trump be if he was Black?

Shot in the head.

How do you fit 27 New Zealand tourists in a 15-seater bus?

Simple. All in the ashtray.

Hot shingles in your neighborhood wanting to get nailed.

What did one alligator say to the other alligator?

"Let’s go for an all-in-one buffet!"

What is the strongest creature in the sea?

A mussel!

Q: What do the St. Louis Rams and Billy Graham have in common?

A: They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell, “Jesus Christ.”