INS jokes
Why do hackers in Africa have hard times dealing with firewalls?
They don't have water.
"Sir, in court, all your answers must be oral, okay?"
"Ok."
"What town did you grow up in?"
"Oral."
I was walking down the street one day, and I passed the gun store. I walked in, and everything was half off. I didn't know back-to-school sales had started already!
Dump in a stump. Ahahahaha.
I called a suicide hotline in Iraq... They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
I entered Kian's house. At the top of the stair, I was greeted by my greatest fantasy, JOHN. He said in a manly tone, "Hello there." I walked slowly up the stairs and greeted him back. As I walked past his room, I felt uneasy. I walked into Kian's room to find no one. I turned around and gasped. John is standing there, a bulge had appeared and poked me as he got nearer. He pushed me onto Kian's bed. The bed was that bad it broke as I fell onto it. John says, "A broken bed is nothing to worry about." I look up at him in disbelief, he's more masculine than I thought. He thrust himself onto me, his crotch area sticky to the touch. He then ripped a fart as he bent over, at this point I knew it was too late John, the fart he ripped (sticky to the touch) had me so in shock I wasn't ready for what was next, he picked and jumped on my head ripping the most monstrous, enormous, deadly, sticky to the touch fart I'd ever seen, it knocked me out. I awoke to find I was in the WALLS. I looked out to find I was in the glory hole, my worst nightmare had become reality, I fully understood my purpose in life was to the holy glory hole, I heard "GRANDAD CAN I GET SOME V-BUCK" I then knew I was in for some Kian treats.
The end
We finally have something in common with Africa. They die of starvation, we die of overeating.
Why couldn't the whistleblower leave his house?
He was snowed in.
What does my dad have in common with Nemo?
They both can’t be found.
What's the difference Michael Jackson and a play station have in common...
They're both plastic and kids turn them on.
What's the only thing that doesn't change in Alabama?
Answer: The family tree!
What does an orphan's life and a pseudoword have in common?
They both have no meaning.
Want to know what I do in my freetime?
Punch an orphan, cuz what are they going to do, tell their mom?
What word starts with M and ends in RAGE? Miscarriage.
That joke never gets old... but neither does the baby...;)
The barman says, "We don't serve time travelers in here."
A time traveler walks into a bar.
My girlfriend was cheating in Uno.
She's not the only one who can play that game.
What part is usually missing in an orphan’s computer system?
Motherboard.
I asked my mum to be in the Paralympics, and she said I had to eat more vegetables.
What goes in hard and comes out soft? A toothbrush.
It was so cold out today believe it or not, I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets!