INS jokes

How do we know Stephen is dying in hell?

There’s a stairway to heaven.

Why can’t orphans get in trouble?

Because there’s no one to give a phone call home to.

A mother and her 7 year old child are walking in the grocery store. The young boy then screams to a random woman “you're an ugly bitch.”

The mother grabs her son and says, “I’m so sorry, I must have told him a thousand of times to not judge people on how they look."

Two fish were in a tank. One turned to the other and asked: "Hey, how do you drive this thing?"

If Adolf starred in the Room, his most iconic line would be “I did not Hitler! I did not!”

I moved all the Bibles to the fiction section because there is no God, as said Stephen Hawking in 2011, but in 2018, God said there was no Stephen Hawking.

Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?

His wife died.

Why is the Champs d'Elysees in Paris lined with trees?

Because German soldiers like marching in the shade!

One day, little Johnny and little Susan were in bible class. Little Susan had been tired that day, so she kept falling asleep. The teacher said to little Susan, "Who is our Lord and Savior?" Little Johnny poked her in the butt with a push pin, and she yelled, "Jesus Christ!" The teacher goes, "That's right, go back to bed." Then, the next thing the teacher asked was, "Who gave up their son for our sins?" Little Johnny poked her again, and she yelled, "God Almighty!" The teacher says, "That's right, go back to bed." The next question the teacher asked was, "What did Adam say to Eve after their 13th child?" Little Johnny poked her in the butt again. She yelled, "If you stick that thing in me again, I am going to break it in half and shove it up your own ass and see how you like it!"

Lynx, where the fuck are you? This is Dagger Jr. (Proof in comments).

You could be sitting alone and still be the dumbest person in the room.

What do 9/11 and gender have in common?

They used to be two, and now it's a sensitive topic.

After death, what is the only organ in the female body which remains warm?

My penis.

What do a priest and a pedo have in common?

Nothing, they both like kids.

What color would the confetti be at a baby shower in 2025?

Orange because they're having a they/them baby.

Hey guys! Want to know something cool? Google Jesus' language. It's Aramaic.

Next, google "God in Aramaic". See the results for yourself. <3

What’s positive in Africa?

HIV/AIDS.

Helicopter, helicopter, Kobe Bryant in my chopper, Sitting next to burning daughter, Lots of smoke and little laughter.

Pickup line for gay people:

Roses are red, Antarctica is in the south, Get on your knees, And open your mouth.

What do you call a guy that's high in a wheelchair?

A baked potato.