INS jokes

Mexican

    • A police pulls over a Mexican man trying to get into America. The Mexican man comes up with some sob story and the police say, "All right, all right ok," says the police, "I'll let you go if you can come up with a sentence that has the words green, pink, and yellow in it." The Mexican thought about it long and hard for almost 45 minutes and then the police says, "Ok ok let's hear it" after waiting impatiently. The Mexican said, "Ok ok don't rush me. I'm ready." The Mexican replied, "Ok when my phone green green, I pink it up and say Yellow!"

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    • Bomb

    • President: Them damn flat faced n**g*rs!!

    Man: We have the power of the sun itself!

    President: Drop it on them!

    Man: You push the button.

    President: *sigh* Fine give it to me.

    Man: Hands over button

    President: Pushes it

    Both: YAAA!

    President: Bumps into the button pressing it again

    Both: Oh, sh*t!

    Meanwhile in Japan after the first bomb went off

    Japanese man: Ah sh*t here we go again

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    • Money

    • Why do goalkeepers have so much money in the bank?

    Because they are really good at saving.

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    • INS memes

    Man

    • Part 1: Two men were walking down the way when the third one came.

    Part 2: Two men were walking down the way when the third one came.

    Part 3: Two men were walking down the way when the third one came.

    Part 4: Guess what... two men were walking down the way when the second one fell in the sewers and died... The first one was lonely.

    Guy

    • A guy cut me in the lunch line. After that, a rock was thrown at him by my friend.

    Tonsil

    • One tonsil said to the other tonsil, “We must be in San Juan Capistrano, here comes another swallow.”

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    • Bee

    • According to all known laws of aviation,

    there is no way a bee should be able to fly.

    Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.

    The bee, of course, flies anyway

    because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.

    Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.

    Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little.

    Barry! Breakfast is ready!

    Coming!

    Hang on a second.

    Hello?

    - Barry? - Adam?

    - Can you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up.

    Looking sharp.

    Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those.

    Sorry. I'm excited.

    Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son.

    A perfect report card, all B's.

    Very proud.

    Ma! I got a thing going here.

    - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me!

    - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye!

    Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house!

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    • Wheelchair

    • I just went on a date with a woman in a wheelchair.

    I stood her up, which made her fall for me. At first it was a drag, but now we’re rolling.

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    • Cancer

    • So, we are in class right, and the teacher has a metal leg. Every year she gets the question of, "Do metal detectors beep every time you walk by them?" She heard this question to the point where she just says yes without hesitation.

    Once she had said yes, two kids in the back started laughing.

    Teacher: Ok alright, take it a little bit more seriously would you?

    Kid: Oh, we're not laughing at that.

    Kid_2: We're laughing at cancer.

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    • Student

    • I used to be in a special needs class, and the teacher sent a student (if you want to call them that) out to the hall for being late.

    I asked her, "Why did you send James out to the hall?"

    She said, "He was a little tardy."

    I replied to her, "I thought they all were."

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    • Monster

    • Dad: No, Timmy, you don't have to worry, there is no monster sleeping under your bed, it sleeps every night in the bed next to me.

    Blowjob

    • How can a gay man that is unemployed be productive in the workplace?

    Give a blowjob to other gay men in the workplace for money.

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