INS jokes
Did you know that the F in orphan means family?
There's no F in orphan?
Exactly.
Why do we never make adult jokes in front of orphans?
Because the joke needs parental guidance.
Teacher: "Ok class, what animal jumps the highest?"
Kid: "A leopard."
Quiet kid: "No, it's emo kids. Some of them are still in the air."
Kid: "Broooooooooooo."
Q: How do you blind a woman?
A: You put a windshield in front of her.
What do old people and meth heads have in common? They usually trip over their balls.
When I saw this, I couldn’t stop laughing
I was exploring the Dubai trophy factory when someone came crashing in. It was him, Pristiano Penaldo. He held the workers at gunpoint, forcing them to make him another plastic Mickey Mouse award or he will dive and sue them for assaulting him. Shame on you, pendu!
Why don't Chinese people believe in Santa? Cause they make the toys.
What did they find in Jeffery Dahmer's apartment?
Jack in a box.
The "S" in Putin stands for smart.
A woman is in the hospital giving birth. The doctor comes up to her afterwards.
Dr: "I'm sorry, I have good news and bad news."
Woman: "What's the bad news?"
Dr: "Your baby is Ginger!"
Woman: "Ok, so what's the good news?"
Dr: "It's dead!"
Me- *crying in the shower*
Also me- *why is my toaster in here?*
Me: "Oh man, things are really happening for me! I have so much to do!"
Depression: "Lie in bed."
In America, you fight Ukraine.
In Soviet Russia, you fight Mykraine.
The biggest inconvenience in 2001, I thought, was my brother. Turns out it was 9/11. I guess the planes saw him be born and died from how ugly he was. Aluh aluckbar.
I was gardening and found a chest full of blood... I forgot I was in the cemetery.
Officer, I drop-kicked that child in self-defense!
You gotta believe me!
How many orphans does it take to screw a light bulb in there house?
None because they don't have a home.
When you're going 80 km in a school zone and one of the speed bumps screams.
A child is determined to burn his home down. His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm across the mother and stated, “That’s arson.”
Yo mama so fat, she is one of the boulders in Indiana Jones.