INS jokes

What do high school kids and Dow have in common? They both test chemicals.

If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have?

Big hands.

Stephen Hawking's not dead, he is just in airplane mode.

My dad died in 9/11.

But he was the pilot.

add me in Roblox wholetthedogsoutyou1 lol who let the dogs out you you you you you?

Yo mama so ugly, Itachi couldn't look at her to put her in a genjutsu.

It's a RUF life in Africa.

When you go over a speed bump, but you remember that there are no speed bumps in the school zone.

Christmas special

Me: Can you describe Mrs. Claus in 3 words? Santa: Ho ho ho.

What's the worst part about microwaving vegetables?

Fitting the wheelchair in.

Why did Sally drown in the pool?

She didn't have any arms, remember!

How many time does it take to cook a baby in a microwave?

I don’t know, I can’t count while masturbating.

What do a Rubik's cube and a dick have in common? The more you play with them, the harder they get.

Yo mama so old, her photos are in a museum and her friends are in a graveyard.

Did you hear about the bank robber?

Turns out he got shot by the police.

And he wound up in prison.

When was the biggest BBQ in history? Hiroshima, August 6, 1945.

He's homeless.

Another: Oh he must be A "Sheer" (as in Andrew Scheer) survivor...

The other: No, he's a Liberal (as in Justin Trudeau) job hopeful.

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom?

Because the P is silent.

What does a deaf person and an orphan have in common? They both can’t hear their parents.

Why can’t an orphan go to Family Dollar? They don’t have a family.

Don’t mess with an emo because if their friends pull up, you gotta fight the suicide squad.

Women be like I don't wear makeup for men.

Then get mad when a man doesn't compliment her in her makeup!