INS jokes
This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be DYING to get in there.
What do pretzels and a corrupt government have in common?
They are both twisted.
Did you hear about the man who jumped off a bridge in France? He was in Seine.
What do you call a terrorist in water?
A bath bomb 😁
What do you call an Iraqi swimming in the water?
A bath bomb.
always happens to me
Me: Hey, that's a really heavy bag, do you have a lot of books and magazines in there?
The Quiet Kid: Yeah, magazines.....
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair on fire?
Hot wheels.
My worst fear is being trapped in a lift with a man who is confident he can fix it.
Can I put deez nuts in yo cluts?
Call me a bad economy with high interest rates and low spending, 'cause I'm in a great depression.
How do you say "Brazier" in German?
Stop 'em from floppin' (German accent)
What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.
What does a depressed person and a jacket have in common?
They’re both hanging in the closet.
Sister: I don't want to do it, but...
Me: No more butts! Butts are too yuck to be in this sentence.
I was struggling on a math test when a girl in a wheelchair leaned over and said, "Hey, this is the easiest thing I've done all day."
I was triggered, so the next day when we were doing the pledge, I leaned over and said, "This is the easiest thing I've done all day!"
Mom told me to get more in touch with my feminine side. So, I crashed the car.
Got a job at the library yesterday... It lasted fifteen minutes... Turns out books about women's rights don't belong in the fiction section.
Why are emos useful in stores? A: Their barcodes give them discounts.
What do a fat woman and bricks have in common? They both get laid by Mexicans.
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a homeless shelter?
You can shit a load inside of a prostitute, but if you try it in a shelter, you get arrested.