INS jokes
Why shouldn't you tell a secret in a corn field?
Because they are full of ears!
Now that was a corny joke.
And yes, it was rather a-maize-ing.
What does Earl Bradley and an Xbox have in common?
They both get turned on by children.
Person 1: How the freak did you get in my house?!?! I locked the door!!!
Person 2: But I'm your mom... I have a key. You dumbass.
Who reads the fastest?
The pilot of the plane who hit one of the twin towers. He took out 83 stories in one go.
There's a plane going down over the desert with only 3 parachutes on board. There are four people onboard: the smartest man in the world, the best doctor in the world, an old priest, and a young nerd. The doctor says, "People need me for my medical skills," grabs the first parachute pack, and jumps. The smartest man in the world says, "People need me for my intelligence," grabs a pack, and jumps. The old priest says, "I have lived a long and happy life. You take the last chute." The nerd says, "Don't worry. There are enough chutes for the both of us. The smartest man in the world just grabbed my backpack."
What do you call a blonde in a freezer?
Her parents called her Cindy, so we should probably continue calling her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.
"You're da bomb!" "No, you're da bomb!"
In America, a compliment. In the Middle East, an argument.
How many times does 42 go into 9?
Get in the van to find out.
My sister got in a car crash a couple days ago. When she got to the hospital, the doctor told her that she needed to get metal mechanics in her leg.
She got really scared and yelled at the doctor, telling them that, “I will not get those implanted in my leg.” I guess she just doesn’t associate with knee gears.
what's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? the trampoline doesn't cave in when i jump on it.
I was in Alabama last year. I walked into a store and noticed a couple kissing each other, and I said, "Excuse me, where is the bathroom?" The man said, "Right over there." I went into the bathroom and then heard the girl say, "Dad, I have to go to school soon."
There's a man in Florida with no arms or legs who is armed and on the run.
What's the darkest point in the universe?
The inside of a KFC.
Why does Mexico not have an Olympic team? Because everyone who can run, jump, and swim is already in America.
I'll never forget my brother's last words: "Why is there a revolver in your hand?"
My reverse psychologist told me I didn't have it in me to make a recovery.
I was arrested for eating too much crack on accident. How?
My sister came into my room shoving her ass in my face.
Q: How many ADHD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Wanna go ride a bike?
What do shemales and barns have in common?
Cocks.
You'd think my son would be happy that Daddy bought him a new bike. But no... oh no, he just sits in his wheelchair and cries like a little girl.