INS jokes
What is the number one song played in Columbine High? Smells Like Teen Spirit.
Can you imagine the last thing that went through the minds of 9/11 victims?
Well, probably the person in front of them.
What do you call a kid laying down in the classroom? Kill confirmed.
What do you call three kids laying down in the classroom? Kill streak.
What’s one thing Obama proved during his presidency?
No matter how far a brotha gets in life, he’s still going to have the cops on his back.
Why did the baby cross the road? The car seat wasn’t strapped in.
Why do people in Alabama like eating sandwiches? They like things in bread.
What does a Travis Scott concert and the Titanic cabin have in common? The music doesn’t stop when people start dying.
What do Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.
If being sexy were a crime, you better lock me up.
Not because I'm sexy, but because I have 5 dead children in my basement.
What's the most embarrassing thing about locking your keys in the car outside a pregnancy care center?
Having to go inside and ask for a coat hanger.
What do women and KFC have in common?
After you get done with the thighs and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.
Gas is expensive nowadays.
In the 1940s, they got it for free.
Guys, I promise I’m not suicidal, I just like dark things.
*proceeds to walk around the house with headphones in and stare at the ceiling while laying down on the couch*
What does it mean when a man has a dodgy past? It means he has skeletons in his closet.
What does it mean when a man likes Lana Del Rey better than Ed Sheeran? It means he has a closet full of women's leather pants (but no women in their dating history).
I think it’s dumb that people say a woman belongs in the kitchen.
How else is the rest of the house going to get cleaned?
I believe Alia is a true god because they say in the beginning there was an explosion.
Like a shooter says, "I put the fun in funeral!"
Did you know Paul Walker had dandruff?
Neither did I until I found his Head and Shoulders in the glove compartment.
What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in a bathtub?
Throw them some laundry.
I can’t watch anime anymore when my friend’s grandpa is in the house.
He hasn’t heard a Japanese person scream since the war.