INS jokes
An Emo kid in a tree falls. At the same time an apple falls from the same tree, what hits the ground first? The apple would be due to the kid's rope and noose.
How do rappers stay warm in the winter?
They wear their rhymes!
What does gum in my d*ck have in common?
Both get chewed on by little kids.
What does a pregnant slave and a "pay less" sale have in common?
Buy one, get one free.
In 2001, my parents took me to 9/11. I was soaring towards it with excitement!
My friend fell on the Nile river and Egypt last week.
He swears by it, but he’s in denial.
Me: Brings in missing child.
Police: OMG this kid has been missing for 3 months. Here is your reward.
Me: Oh, cool.
NEXT DAY
Me: Brings in 8 other kids.
Police :0 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why did the rapper bring a telescope to the studio?
To see his FUTURE in the STARS.
In life, some people have it harder than others.
That's why Viagra exists.
Donald Trump is proudly anti-woke. He has been falling asleep in his court cases every morning!
Your move, Ron DeSantis.
I asked my mom what is dark humor. She said "see them boy over there in the wheelchair, ask him to walk." I said, "but I’m blind." She responded, "Exactly."
They say there is strength in numbers. Tell that to the people in the World Trade Center.
A blonde really got tired of all blonde jokes and decided to hang herself in the bathroom. As she locked the door, she yelled at her husband, "I'm hanging myself because I'm tired of jokes about us blondes being stupid!" Her husband broke into the bathroom and saw his wife with a rope tied on her toe. The husband said, "I thought you were hanging yourself." She said, "Yes, I am!" The husband replied, "Usually when people hang themselves, they tie the rope around their neck, so why is yours tied on your toe?" She said, "I tried that, but I couldn't breathe."
How are corpses like pools?
Once you get in, it's only cold for like a minute.
Why can’t you take an Asian guy golfing? Because you can’t drive. Every time he does, he tries to put a hole-in-one.
What is a terrorist's first move in chess?
C4.
My best friend was recently gunned down in a drive-by shooting and died a virgin, but he wasn’t buried one.
What does a priest and Christmas tree have in common? The balls are just for decoration.
What does Jeffrey Dahmer and Travis Scott have in common?
Eight dead people.
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie-talkie?
He can’t walkie or talkie.