INS jokes
How Chinese is COVID? About the same as those red MAGA hats made in China.
If Mexico is an unredeemable shithole, then how come the Republicans' favorite senator, Ted Cruz, ran to Mexico as fast as he could after a little bit of snow in his home?
The people in Florida yelling "White Power!" is amusing, because when they get permanent sunburn from the Florida sun, they are not white anymore.
I seriously don't get why people in Alabama are angered that Mexican immigrants are taking their jobs. I mean, it's not like they are preventing your son from giving you a big, fat blow job.
Why do people from Alabama abhor eating tacos and burritos?
Because their meat has to be in bread.
What's Michael Jackson got in common with Santa?
They both empty their sacks around children.
What's your mom and a dog got in common?
Both will lick dick if you put peanut butter on it.
What's the difference between BTS and Futurama? There's only one Bender in Futurama.
What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costume.
What does a bridge and a fat chick have in common They both get laid by Mexicans
What is the most common crime in Asia?
Identity fraud.
What’s the similarities between a pillow and your mom?
They’re both in my bed.
In 2011, Stephen Hawking said there is no God. In 2018, God said there is no Steve Hawking.
Why was Wacko Jacko willing to write a song for the film Free Willy?
He thought that the film's title was a nice phrase to yell out in primary school playgrounds.
Why did Ten need a therapist? He was in between 9/11.
Alcoholics don't run in my family, they drive!
A bus full of ugly people is driving down the street. The bus crashes and everyone goes to heaven. They see Saint Peter, and he feels bad for them and grants them one wish before they go into heaven. The first one says, "I wish to be attractive." The second one says the same.
Meanwhile, the 3rd person in line is giggling and snickering and laughing while Saint Peter is granting wishes. Curiously, he asks why he is laughing. He says, "I was going to wish that they turned ugly again."
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
They can't see their parents.
My son came to me depressed, so I pointed to the spare bedroom and said, "Hang in here, son."
In Israel, they don't have Walmarts; they only have Targets.