INS jokes
One time in the butt. Two times in the butt. Three times in the butt makes a slut hot and wet.
Why did England beat Germany in World War Two?
Scissors beat paper.
Where can you find a list of dead astronauts? In the orbituaries.
I woke up to my daughter riding me in bed. I asked, "What are you doing?" She replied, "Making a Creampie."
Mom: You can't die in the living room, David, so you can stop stabbing and shooting yourself.
David: I will surpass Kakarot!
Jordan: *dead on the living room floor*
The other day I was in the park and got bored, so I found an orphan and punched him in the face, laughed at him, and said, "Whatcha gonna do, tell your parents?"
There is this cute Russian girl in my class, yet she hasn't asked me out for vodka.
Girl playing outside: "Step on a line and you break your mommy's spine." She then steps on a line and her mother keels over screaming.
Girl playing outside: "Step on a crack and you break daddy's back." She steps on a crack the mailman next door then keels over screaming.
The husband starts celebrating, gets in the car, and starts to drive away.
The son comes outside and steps on a crack.
The dad then dies in a car crash.
What do you call Helen Keller in a pitch black, sound proof room?
Redundant.
Famous last words: I COULD EAT THIS IN ONE BITE!
Why do people in wheelchairs get bullied? Because they can never stand up for themselves.
Why is there only 363 days in an orphan calendar? Because they don't have Mother's Day or Father's Day.
What do five dicks sticking out of glory holes and five udders both have in common? They are ready for milking.
Why are the candy's clothes in the studio?
Because it's a wrapper.
What do superheroes put in their drinks?
Just ice.
Doc: Can I help you?
Girl: Doctor, I have pain in my heart.
Doc: When did it begin?
Girl: Right now (seeing him like a doll).
Doc: Hh...do you like me? I know I am handsome...
Girl: No, don’t get me wrong. You just look like someone I know.
Doc: Who is that? Is your boyfriend?
Girl: No, it’s my pet (rabbit), his name is Rokie.
Kat, what? I did. A cat jump over the road because he believes he came flying in the clouds. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah! So funniest kitten kitten kitten kidding is my last time of Do you Joooooooooooooooooooooookin?
Want to know something good about people giving ZERO fucks about you and living in the country?
Everybody knows nothing.
Yo mama so fat, NASA used her stomach to jump to Uranus in seconds.
Did you hear about the astronaut that stepped in gum and got stuck?
He got stuck in orbit! Hehhehe.