INS jokes
A young, innocent little girl is playing hopscotch, and she says, "You step on a crack, you break your mama's back." Then she steps on a crack, so her mother's back proceeded to break slowly. Then she said, "You step on a line, you break your dada's spine," but the neighbor's spine broke, and in happiness, the thought-to-be previous father gets in his car and drives through the garage door...
So there's an orphan in a hospital, and the doctor walks up and says, "Sorry, kid, but this is a family hospital."
If you're sleeping, and you fall in your dream, you may have died, and the angels dropped you.
Or you don't wake up, and you were on your way to hell.
Why aren't there any stray cats in Chinatown?
There are, but they're just listed as "pork" on the menus.
What do condoms and whores have in common?
Answer: There is a lot that comes in every box.
What do magicians and prostitutes have in common?
Answer: disappearing acts.
What is your name in my phone?
I love your house. I have been in your art for.
One day I was at church. I had to sit down. I said, "Who in the world stinks?" I looked down. Turns out it was me, and this is not a joke, but funny.
As the coronavirus pandemic strengthens...
Trump - "Quick, inject yourselves with bleach!"
Also Trump - "I order everyone in America to wear a face mask except for me!"
How do you say "nose" in Spanish?
hmm.... No sé.
One time in the butt. Two times in the butt. Three times in the butt makes a slut hot and wet.
Why did England beat Germany in World War Two?
Scissors beat paper.
Where can you find a list of dead astronauts? In the orbituaries.
I woke up to my daughter riding me in bed. I asked, "What are you doing?" She replied, "Making a Creampie."
Mom: You can't die in the living room, David, so you can stop stabbing and shooting yourself.
David: I will surpass Kakarot!
Jordan: *dead on the living room floor*
The other day I was in the park and got bored, so I found an orphan and punched him in the face, laughed at him, and said, "Whatcha gonna do, tell your parents?"
There is this cute Russian girl in my class, yet she hasn't asked me out for vodka.
Girl playing outside: "Step on a line and you break your mommy's spine." She then steps on a line and her mother keels over screaming.
Girl playing outside: "Step on a crack and you break daddy's back." She steps on a crack the mailman next door then keels over screaming.
The husband starts celebrating, gets in the car, and starts to drive away.
The son comes outside and steps on a crack.
The dad then dies in a car crash.
What do you call Helen Keller in a pitch black, sound proof room?
Redundant.
Famous last words: I COULD EAT THIS IN ONE BITE!