INS jokes
What is the biggest butt in the world?
The bottom of the ocean.
Q: What does Abraham Lincoln have in common with a poor quality pirated movie?
A: They were both shot in a theater.
What did the toilet paper say when he got stuck in a crack on the side walk?
"I got stuck in a butt crack!"
An old lady walks into an ice cream store. A clerk greets her and says, "What will it be today, ma'am? We have every flavor you can imagine." The old lady says, "Well, I guess I'd like a quart of chocolate ice cream." The clerk says, "Sorry, ma'am, we're out of chocolate today. Any other flavor we'll have." "Ok," she replies, "Why don't you just give me a pint of chocolate ice cream?" The clerk says a little louder in case she's hard of hearing, "Sorry, ma'am, but we're fresh out of chocolate ice cream." The old lady says, "Oh, ok. Why don't you just get me a cone with one scoop of chocolate ice cream?"
Finally, totally exasperated, the clerk says, "Wait a minute, lady. Can you spell 'Van' as in vanilla?" "Why of course, young man," she says, "V-A-N." "Right," the clerk says, "Can you spell 'Straw' as in strawberry?" "Well of course, 'Straw'," she replied. "Ok, then," he says, "Now spell 'Fuck' as in chocolate." She says, "There's no 'Fuck' in chocolate." He says, "That's what I've been trying to tell you... THERE'S NO FUCKING CHOCOLATE!!!"
Like if you are in high school and miss school!
Hi 👋 I have some good ideas 💡. It was the best game I had to get in my...
A young woman goes for her first gynecological exam, and the nurse has her take off her clothes, put on a gown, and get in the stirrups. She tells her the doctor will be in in a minute.
The doctor comes in and tells the young lady that she has one of the most beautiful vaginas he’s ever seen, and he has seen a lot of them. She thanks him for the compliment. He tells her he is about to start the examination, but he is going to have to numb her first, when she says ok, he goes:
"Num num num num num!"
I saw a cat. It said, "Raisin" when he saw a nut. Hahaha, I am a crappy joker. Put me in the nerd club.
Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, “Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?” The birch says he cannot tell, but just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling. The birch says, “Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?”
The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree and replies, “It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch, it is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever poked my pecker into.”
In India, 3 things are wide and far everywhere, but no one admits: racism, sexism, and Sunny's jism.
What is the biggest candy in the world?
Candy Borobudur.
Who's the cutest president in the world?
Kim Jong Un, chh💕💕💕
"MERCURY INSURANCE, come to our office in Mercury."
911, what's your emergency?
Me: My grandma just passed out in the living room and I think she's dead.
Well, it's not a living room anymore.
Me: Hangs up.
Why do nuns go around in pairs?
So one nun makes sure the other nun doesn't get none!
What did Melania ever see in Donald Trump?
$2 billion and high cholesterol.
When you're going to Titanic: It's the best ship in the world.
When you know it's sinking: It's the poor ship!
What is the difference between cremation and smoking?
While you are smoking, you don't go up in smoke.
Q. What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? A. Same middle name! 😂
What's the difference between a woman and a washing machine? The washing machine doesn't follow you after you put a load in it.