INS jokes
You need to eat makeup on the inside because, friend, you're so ugly and you're not even pretty on the outside.
Did you know there was a record for the quickest time to finish a story? The day it was set was 9/11. 99 stories in .4 seconds.
Like, if you hate wearing a mask.
Every time I'm out in public, and I see someone without their mask, I always feel like there is something extra special about them. Then I realize that I can see all their face!
True story by the way.
Yo mama so stupid, she starved in a grocery store!
I hate wearing a mask in public.
Hello, I am School Shooter Memes. For the last month I made School Shooter Jokes on the site, so now I want you guys to vote for the best one. It will be in a quarterfinal format with the 8 of them being the most liked. I will link all of the polls in the comments so make sure to vote for your favourite joke.
What do you call it when Neil Armstrong started cuming in space?
The Milky Way.
Green beans, potato salad with the one that was in the fridge for me.
A sister went to her brother's room and says,
"I'm scared, can I sleep with you?"
"Yes, sis."
"What is this?" (pointing at his dick)
"My pet snake."
"Can I pet it?"
"Yes."
He wakes up in a hospital.
"What happened?"
"Your snake spit on me, so I bit his head off."
"You dummy!"
"Whaaat?"
Q: Ten shepherds out in the sheep field. How do you know which one's gay?
A: He's the one the sheep fuck!
(I'm gay, and I know this joke is demeaning and inappropriate, but I still think it's funny as a 2-inch penis.)
What does a dad and the Twin Towers have in common?
Once they're gone, they never come back.
What does a dad and the Twin Towers have in common? Once they're gone they never come back.
I was listening to WAP in my car with my four-year-old cousin, and she asked why they don't fix the holes in the house.
Then my fucking boyfriend, what a hoe, was and pointed to me. I pushed him out of the car, and my other boyfriend took the front seat.
I was listening to WAP in my car with my four-year-old cousin, and she asked why they don't fix the holes in the house.
Then my fucking boyfriend, what a hoe, was.
What do you call a Scottish Muslim with drug problems?
(Said in a Scottish accent) "Amaffmaheed."
When you hide in the girl's bathroom so the school shooter won't go in there: 😃
When you notice that the school shooter is female: 😟
I'm bored in class. Anyone wanna chat?
What do an angler fish and a pedophile have in common?
They both like to hide in dark places, look creepy, and like to lure small creatures.
What do a pimp and a farmer have in common?
They both need a hoe to stay in business.
Ariana Grande was in the store, and when she put her groceries on the counter, she said, "Thank you, next!"