INS jokes
"Milk, milk, lemonade, around the corner, chocolate's made." (Point to your boobs, vagina/crouch area, and then to your butt area in sync with words.)
What's missing in an orphanage computer?
"The motherboard."
I was taking my dog on a long walk when I heard a loud scream. I ran towards the sound. There I found Penaldo sinking in a pit of mud. I was trying to help him out when my dog said, "Leave him, he's been in the mud for years." I walked away shocked but not surprised.
My father died in 9/11. It's such a shame. He was a great pilot. 😔
So I found out a rainbow is basically where a guy ejaculates in a female's mouth and she swallows her period juice and they both kiss each other, swishing it together in each other's mouth, and it forms a rainbow.
And a strawberry shortcake is basically where a dude ejaculates on a female's face and then punches her in the nose, causing her to bleed. That's why it's called a strawberry shortcake.
What do emo kids like to do in their spare time?
Hanging out.
Call me a bad economy with high interest rates and low spending, 'cause I'm in a great depression.
Do you like Wendy's? When deez nutz are in your mouth.
Do you like pudding? Pudding deez nuts in your mouth!
I took my mother-in-law out yesterday morning,
It's great being a sniper.
What’s the difference between a pile of babies and a Tesla?
I don’t have a Tesla in my garage.
What's the difference between my ass and the toddlers in my uncle's basement?
My ass doesn't cry when he sticks it in late at night.
What do computers and white kids have in common? They don't have trouble shooting.
A fully grown bull Great White Shark is 15 feet long and can open its jaws up to 1.2 meters long. It could eat a small child in seconds. Anyways, I lost my job at the aquarium...
Bully 1 to Bully 2: You're ugly.
Bully 2: Look in a mirror.
Bully 1: Just because it worked for you doesn't mean it will work for everyone else.
What is the good thing about child molesters? They drive slow in school zones.
What has four legs and one arm? A Doderman in a playground.
How can a guy do stand up comedy in a wheelchair?
How to Make an Orphan cry
Step 1: Talk about Home.
Step 2: Ask them where their parents are.
Step 3: Say, "Bye Bye," and push them in the Batmobile!
I was in an audition for the lead role of movie "Aquaman." The Director told me to dive into a pool. Then outta nowhere Penaldo showed up and made a big dive into the pool. The director was impressed and selected Penaldo for the movie.
Shame on you Penaldo for destroying my dream!