INS jokes
What do you do when you see a spaceman?
Park in it, man!
What do humans and monkeys have in common? They both hang from trees.
I was in math class, and we were learning geometry. My teacher said, "PENTAGON!" then all of a sudden, PENALDO burst into the room! He thought we were talking about PENS, so he came looking for some because he's a finished pen merchant! Shame on you, Penaldo, for ruining my education! 🤬
What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common? They both let little kids sit on their lap.
What do orphans and people eating oranges have in common? They both are eating balls.
I bullied a kid in a wheelchair. I told him to stand up for himself.
"Sir, I'm afraid your son can't attend our swimming lessons anymore."
"Why not?"
"He keeps peeing in the pool."
"Well, all kids pee in the pool."
"Not from the diving board!"
Q: How many cops does it take to put in a light bulb? A: None, they just beat the room for being black. 😂😂😂
Why can’t an orphan be gay?
They don’t have a closet to hide in.
I was in an argument with a "friend" at school. He said, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."
...so I threw a dictionary at him.
Why did the emo kid get kicked out of the amusement park?
He kept cutting in line.
Why don't orphans care if they get in trouble? They can't call their parents.
When you run over a speed bump in a school zone and you remember that there are no speed bumps.
What is something in common with gay people and ambulance trucks?
They both take it out the back and go "woo woo!"
A high school student and his best friend were rushing to class after his best friend caused them both to be late. His best friend asked, "Would you like to hear a joke?" "Sure," he replied. "What do you and your sister have in common?" "I don't know." "Because of me you're both late for your next period."
I went to the local butcher's and asked him what happened to his Saturday boy. The butcher replies, "I had to fire him, I found him with his dick in the meat slicer!"
"What did you do with the meat slicer?" I asked.
The butcher says, "I had to fire her too!"
Alternative punchline:
"I had to call social services, she was only 14."
I walk in on my mum and she's in the middle of pulling off my dad's boxers. I said, "Mum, you really spoil those dogs!"
I walk in from work to find my wife dead on the sofa.
As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of sick fuck does that?
I come in from work to see my wife dead on the sofa. As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of a dick fuck does that!
Why can orphans convert to Catholicism? Because Catholics believe in no sex before marriage.