INS jokes
What's the difference between a bison and a buffalo?
You can't wash your face in a buffalo.
What does a pregnant lady and pigs have in common?
They're both fat.
Why did the orphan wait in line?
To see their parents next.
Yo momma so fat that she don't need a backpack. She keeps her things in her Lagrangian points.
Me: "Hey, are your parents home?"
Orphan: "Stop calling here!"
Me in the corner.
A guy starts texting a cute girl and asks her to give him her phone number so he can call her. The girl says, "OK, but you have to transfer mobile balance to my number. Then I am gonna be your girlfriend and will meet you somewhere." He transfers her the balance and calls her, but it turns out the girl was actually a guy making him a fool. He blocked him.
The next day, he was very angry about himself being a fool, so he thought he'd do the same. He makes a fake girl account and starts texting with some random guy, and then he asks that guy to send him balance. Suddenly, his father came into his bedroom and asked, "Son, can you send me some balance? I am gonna send you cash after sometime." That guy looks at his father with suspicious eyes, and then he calls that random number. Suddenly his father's phone starts ringing......
When you are eating delicious street food in China and you ask the chef: You: "Is this chicken?" Chef: "No, its meow meow."
Q: How do you get 50 babies in a bucket?
A: With a blender!
Q: How do you take them out?
A: With Doritos!
Me: Can I borrow your CD?
Friend: What CD?
Me: See deez nuts in your mouth.
Guy: Fight me on Xbox. Guy: Oh right, you don't have one *laughs*
Me: Fight me in real life. Me: Oh right, you don't have a real life. *INSERTS APPLE BOTTOM JEANS*
2021-2022
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair? A RC-XD.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
This car in RC-XD.
What did one orphan say to the other?
"GET IN THE BATMOBILE, ROBIN!"
Why did the orphan drop the soap in prison? So he can have a prison daddy.
What do you call someone who is in an airplane crash who was a 2006 Stanley Cup champion with the Carolina Hurricanes?
Josef Vasicek.
Why was Josef Vasicek a Stanley Cup champion in 2006?
Because you know who was jealous and he went down in 2020.
If you give Kobe Bryant a cigarette, he will be warm for a short time.
But he was set on fire in the helicopter crash, so now he's warm for the rest of his life.
What's the difference between the 44 out of the 45 people who died in the Yaroslavl crash and the nine people who died in the helicopter crash?
Only one was ever famous. Vasicek and Kobe Bryant were the champions.
I want to make another joke about Josef Vasicek, but I think if I make the NHL, I'll die in an airplane crash, so I won't risk it again.
What did Kobe Bryant and Josef Vanicek have in common?
They both won a trophy at least once, Vanicek a 1x Stanley Cup champion with the Carolina Hurricanes, and they also both crashed and burned in a helicopter or airplane.