INS jokes
Cousins on the streets means lovers in the sheets. 😂👀
I asked a girl I met if I could take her out to dinner.
The joke is I knew right after she said, "I'll call you," she was lying to me, not surprised even a little.
The next joke was a part of me hoped she would call, but did I really think she was going to? I'll never be good enough for anyone, what was I thinking, why did I even bother to ask her in the first place? I think it was just to prove I was right, I'm unwanted.
LONELINESS EQUALS SADNESS.
What do you call a war dodo named Bob in WW2 and he came from Mars?
Bruno Mars.
Why does Michael Jackson do positions with kids in photos? Because they won’t do the same for him.
What is money called in space?
Star bucks.
Why is it painful to have your attorney with you in the hospital?
The damages are severe.
Q: What do you call a nun in a pool? A: A bath bomb.
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?
Virgin Mobile.
What can’t orphans do in baseball? Go to home.
Why are Michael Jackson and caviar so much in common?
They both come on little white crackers.
What do a blonde chick and a turtle both have in common?
When they're on their backs, they're screwed.
What do a blonde chick and a field of wheat have in common?
They're both bound to get plowed at some point in time.
A woman has been raped by a man. She calls the police, and a policeman shows up.
Woman: "Please help, officer! I have been raped!"
Officer: "No problem, ma'am, I will just unrape you."
Woman: "What? Unrape me? How?"
Officer proceeds to bring back the rapist and forces the woman to rape the rapist back in order to cancel out the initial rape.
I like my dates like I like my wine...
Locked in a cellar and aged for 12 years.
One tonsil said to the other tonsil, “We must be in San Juan Capistrano, here comes another swallow.”
What do my little brother and a vagina have in common?
They both ooze blood 🩸 when punched.
What did the German Shepherd dog say to Hitler?
"Mein Führer ist steckenbleiben in meinen Zähnen."
I'm reading this book in braille right now, and I know something's gonna happen, I can just feel it.
You're so fat that you're gonna be my next hamburger for dinner and the next In-N-Out, just like your parents.
Despite Michael Jackson’s legal problems while he was alive, McDonald’s is still going to honor his life achievements in the music industry by naming a sandwich after him.
They’re going to call it the McMichael! It’s going to be a fifty year old piece of meat pressed between two eight year old buns.