INS jokes
Saying a Kobe joke after he died tends to ignite a fire in the people you say it to.
There was a person inside who needed help from the police, but the police changed their number, so he ordered a party with pizzas from 2 airplanes, but the pilots were stupid, so they put people instead of pizzas, and one landed on the 93rd floor and the 94th floor, literally.
Why does the kid in the wheelchair get bullied all the time?
Because he can’t stand up for himself.
A fireman, a policeman, and a carpenter went on a fishing trip. The fireman and the policeman both have the same father but different mothers, and they are half-brothers. But the fireman and the carpenter have the same mother and father, but they are not brothers. How is this possible?
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So you're in a hospital, you barely survive your suicide attempt. You see one of the scalpels, you finish the job.
Why did the chicken cross the road why? Because they wanted to kick someone in the family.
How do you ride two bikes at once?
You ride them in tandem!
Why do self-harmers "draw" on their arms?
Because everything they do is in vein.
Punchline: "Vain" sounds similar to "Vein".
Q: What do Satan and a priest have in common?
A: They both want Anthony's neck.
Q: What do Satan and a priest have in common?
A: They both love naughty souls.
Did you know that McDonald's made a Michael Jackson burger? It’s a 50-year-old piece of meat in a 12-year-old bun.
If you feel a lump in your rice, you fucked up.
If you feel a lump in your skin, you have cancer.
What happens if you put your hand in glue? Your hand will stay there forever! I'm joking, hahaha!
What a world we live in. Now we’re making jokes about anorexic people.
If 6 was afraid of 7 because 7-8-9, then why was 10 afraid?
'Cause it was right in the middle of 9/11.
Why can’t Jesus be born in West Virginia?
Because they couldn’t find three wise men or a virgin.
Why do emo kids not jump?
They're still in the sky.
What does an Xbox/PlayStation and Michael Jackson have in common?
Kids turn them on.
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into the school fire and said, "Hot wheels."
I fell in love with my teacher.
Which is weird because I am home schooled.