INS jokes
Why do the twin towers and my mom have in common? They fell over.
I threw a boomerang two years ago... I live in constant fear.
You are so hairy, you starred in Donkey Kong before!
I told a joke to a guy who had jumped off a bridge... He was in bits! 🤣🤦♂️
If dust mites are found in dust, bedbugs are found in beds, where are cockroaches found in?
Me: "Oh man, things are really happening for me! I have so much to do!"
Depression: "Lie in bed."
What do the Titanic and the Montréal Canadiens have in common? They both sank to the bottom of the Atlantic.
Say all you want about priests, but at least they drive slowly in school zones.
If 6 guys are in a room with each other, is it technically a 6-pack?
A kid decided to burn his house down.
His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm around the mom and said, "That's arson."
THIS IS A RHYME
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said you know you wanna.
Jill said yes as he grabbed her dress,
and they had a little fun.
Jill forgot her pills so now they have a son.
How many emos does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they just sit there and cry in the dark.
I got caught peeing in the pool.
The lifeguard blew his whistle so hard I nearly fell in!
Where are the best shooting ranges in America?
Used to be in schools, but now in subways.
I hate salmonella.
It is such a pain in the butt.
What does the 'w' in Africa stand for? Water.
What's the most played game in Africa? Hunger Games.
I was given an invisibility cloak by my grandfather, but it was stolen in 2013. After investigating this issue, I have come to the conclusion it was Robert Lewandisney.
That's why he was invisible in every big game since 2013. SHAME ON YOU LEWANDISNEY!
So skinny you have to run around in the shower to get wet.
How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb in the middle of the night?
I don't know, I can never see them.