INS jokes
There were ten in the bed and the little one said... "Roll over..."
Knock knock.
Who's there?
It's me. I can't get in because Stephen Hawking is in the way.
What does Stephen Hawking and a prostitute have in common?
They both charge.
Dick in my mouth.
Ok ok ok so 7 ate 9, but why was 10 scared? Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
Q: What does a slice of pizza and an F grade have in common?
A: They're both cheesy.
You know how 7 ate 9? Why was 10 scared? It's because he was in the middle of 9/11. 🤣
What would be the most heartbreaking scene in a dementia film? I forgor 💀.
What’s the worst song to play in front of a vegetable? “James Brown - Get on Up”
What’s the worst song to play in front of a handicapped kid? “Van Halen - Jump”
What's the worst song to play in front of a black man in Minneapolis? “I Can't Breathe - Juice Wrld”
Transgenders! Men in disguise!
In a thick Russian accent:
"Let's buy some vodka, pollute the earth with oil, and make insecure nuclear power plants that break all the time! Ah, yes. The mother land. A great place to be. Not like those stupid Ukrainian people who are living happy lives, they are crazy and need to die."
My friend's 4-year-old daughter made up this joke.
What kind of poo should you put in your hair?
Shampoo.
Your mom is so fat, when she swam in the sea, Wales came up to her and said, "We are family, even now you’re fatter than me."
The smartest kid in my class says "is-land" instead of "island."
People said that we needed to follow in Kobe's footsteps, but there are none.
One day, Little Johnny came home with his girlfriend and told his dad, "We're gonna go to my room and do some homework." His dad said okay. Five minutes later, Little Johnny's dad heard noises coming from his room, so he went to go see what it was, and all he heard was, "Baby, baby, oh, baby, baby, oh." Little Johnny's dad started banging on the door and said, "Little Johnny, what are you doing in there?" Then Little Johnny said, "Dad, we're just having sex." Then Little Johnny's dad said, "Oh, I thought you were listening to some Justin Bieber up in here."
What does a man masturbating and a mayo bottle have in common?
They can both squirt out their cum.
One day a man dies and goes to heaven. He gets there and sees a bunch of clocks. He asks Jesus, "Hey, what are the clocks for?" Jesus replies, "They move every time you sin." "This is Mother Teresa's, it has not moved so she has not sinned." "This one is Abraham Lincoln's, it has moved twice so he sinned twice." The man asks, "Where is Joe Biden's?" Jesus replies, "It's in my office-- I'm using it as a ceiling fan."
The people in the World Trade Center ordered two pepperoni, but got two planes.
What part is usually missing in an orphan’s computer system?
Motherboard.