INS jokes
What happens if you put your hand in glue? Your hand will stay there forever! I'm joking, hahaha!
What a world we live in. Now we’re making jokes about anorexic people.
If 6 was afraid of 7 because 7-8-9, then why was 10 afraid?
'Cause it was right in the middle of 9/11.
Why can’t Jesus be born in West Virginia?
Because they couldn’t find three wise men or a virgin.
Why do emo kids not jump?
They're still in the sky.
What does an Xbox/PlayStation and Michael Jackson have in common?
Kids turn them on.
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into the school fire and said, "Hot wheels."
I fell in love with my teacher.
Which is weird because I am home schooled.
Why do violists stand for long periods outside of people's houses? They can't find the key and don't know when to come in.
Two muffins are in an oven.
One says, "Man, it is hot in here!"
The other one says, "OMG, a talking muffin!"
Have you seen the Justin meme?
Yeah, the ones that cracked at Fortnite?
Just-in time for deez nuts.
Bruh.
But actually, it's a parody.
Wait, actually?
Parodiesnuts (pair of deez nuts).
Have you learned SoDN in chemistry? It's so hard.
What's SoDN?
Suck on deez nuts.
6 was afraid of 7 because 7 8 9.
Why was 10 scared?
Because it's in the middle of 9/11!
A guy in a white helmet telling kids to kill themselves.
Why do emo kids sneak up on their Vietnamese grandfathers? Because they hope the war experience kicks in.
I walked up to a group of moms having a conversation while waiting to pick up their kids from day care. They were using cutesy words like "ankle biters", "rug rats," and other terms I've heard parents use before when describing their toddlers.
I thought I'd chime in; as it turns out, "carpet muncher" doesn't mean what I thought it does.
A toddler was giving her daddy a tea party.
She brought him a little cup of "tea" which was just water, of course. After several cups of tea, her Mom came home. Dad made her wait in the living room to watch his little Princess bring him a cup of tea, because it was, "Just the cutest thing!" Mom waited, and sure enough, here she come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy. She watches him drink it up and then says, "You know the only place she can reach water, is the toilet!"
Don't see why people say that babysitting a toddler is hard. You just grease the bathtub, put them inside with some food and drink, and go do your business. I guarantee you that they will still be there when you return.
If you stay in the house, you might need to use sound cancelling headphones too, though.
A news headline read: "A toddler has shot a person every week in the US for two years straight."
He was in the infantry.
How many skinheads does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
10; 1 to do it and 9 to back him up.