INS jokes
What’s the difference between orphans and cars?
I don’t have 1080 cars in my basement.
A man saw a lady with big breasts. He asked, "Excuse me, can I bite your breasts for $1000?" She agrees, so they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse and the man puts his face in her breasts for 10 minutes. Eventually, the lady asks, "Aren't you gonna bite them?" He replies, "No, it's too expensive."
What do you call 2 nudists in Africa?
Naked and Afraid.
"If two sides in a battlefield read my book, there will be no winner."
Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
1 like = 1 more child in my fryer.
Why does the wind always blow from the "West" in Washington State?
Answer: Because IDAHO SUCKS!
What does a depressed person and a chicken have in common? They both try to fly.
I was playing hide and seek at work the other day. Unfortunately, it ended with me in the hospital, though; ICU.
Do you like In-N-Out?
Yes, why? In and out of your mouth.
Friend A: Do you like Wendy's?
Friend B: Yes, why?
Friend A: Wen-dez nuts in your mouth!
+1 like = 1 kid in my basement.
+1 comment = 1 kid in my microwave.
+1 share = 1 kid in my blender.
+1 like = 1 kid in my basement.
+1 follower = 1 kid in my Microwave.
+1 Comet.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.
If 6 is afraid because 7, 8, 9, why is 10 scared?
Because it's in between 9/11.
My teacher made us watch a movie about the struggles of being an overweight person in this day and age.
It was really heavy on me.
An orphan entered the high school for the first time. He has no knowledge of the school. He went to the secretary and asked where he shall go. The secretary then gave the orphan a schedule and said to the orphan, “Where is homeroom?” The secretary then asked which homeroom number he was assigned, and he said "1." The orphan then started to weep and said that his parents died right as he stole his first base in baseball.
(First Person): Knock knock, who's there? (2nd Person): Lemme talk to you, when we finna slide, what we finna do, knock knock, who's there, time to make a move, slayin' all then demons and we gotta move in too.
(Second Person): Knock knock, (1st p): who's there, let me talk to you, be careful where you steppin' out cause you ain't bullet proof, knock knock, who's there? time to make a move, block is full of shooters, and they didn't come to hoop.
1 like = 1 more child in my basement.
You have two parts of [your] brain, "left" and "right". In the left side, there's nothing right. In the right side, there's nothing left.
1 like = 1 kid in the bed with me.