INS jokes
Holy cow!
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, “Have you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?”
“Yeah,” the other cow says. “Makes me glad I’m a penguin.”
The "F" in "orphan" stands for family, but there is no "F" in "orphan."
How do you punish a blind guy?
You leave a plunger in the toilet.
What color would the confetti be at a baby shower in 2025?
Orange because they're having a they/them baby.
Guy and Girl are in the shower talking to each other.
Guy: Let's drop the soap.
Girl: Let's do it!
Why can't orphans eat chips?
Because they come in family size.
What do depressed teenagers and fruits have in common?
They both hang by something.
What do dogs and planks have in common? They both have to be walked.
"There is no way you can fit in there."
"Says who?"
"Your mom."
"When?"
"Last night."
"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-"
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I wondered why there was red all over my bathroom til I found out that my sis had dyed her hair red. Man, it looked like somebody died in there! Lol.
Two teenagers were raping an 11-year-old girl in an alley, so I stepped in to help. The little bitch didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.
Why is "dark" spelled with a K and not a C?
Because you can't see in the dark.
Q: Why don't Indians play soccer?
A: Because every time they're in the corner, they open a store.
Q: How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
A: You give them a Sandy Hook.
My girlfriend just broke up with me because I held a door for another girl. She said I was cheating, but the girl I helped was in a wheelchair.
What is illegal in Africa? Water guns.
Yo mama so fat,
Donald Trump himself tried to use her as his border wall in 2016.
One day my dog died because we couldn't find him. Then we got a cat on the same day. Then my cat went missing, and when I was crying, we heard our Asian neighbor was having a party. Then we went over and I saw my dog and cat on the grill, and they ate them in front of me, saying "yum yum doggy in my tummy and cat in my tummy as well."
What do you call a terrorist in a bathtub?
Bathbomb.