INS jokes
What’s the hardest part about being a pedophile?
Fitting in.
An old professor’s class used to begin with a dirty joke.
Following one particularly vulgar joke, the girls in the class decided to walk out the next time he began.
When the professor learned of this planned protest, he came in the next morning and said, “Good morning, class. Did you hear about the scarcity of whores in Newfoundland?”
With that, all the women stood up and headed for the door.
“Wait, ladies,” called the professor, “The boat doesn’t leave until tomorrow!”
What does a nearsighted gynaecologist and a puppy have in common?
Wet noses.
Lynx, where the fuck are you? This is Dagger Jr. (Proof in comments).
90% of women don't like men in pink shirts. Ironically, 90% of men in pink shirts don't like women.
Yo mama so dumb, she put a watch in a piggybank and said she was saving time.
Why does a queen have more mobility than the king in chess?
Because the board looks like a kitchen floor.
A young cowboy entered a seedy cafe in a small West Texas town.
He sat at the counter and spotted an elderly cowboy with his arms folded and his gaze fixed on a bowl of chili. After roughly 15 minutes of staring at it, the young cowboy boldly inquired, “If you’re not going to eat it, do you mind if I do?” Slowly turning his head toward the young wrangler, the older cowboy muttered, in his best cowboy voice, “Nah. Go ahead.”
The young cowboy eagerly reached over and slid the bowl over to his spot, spooning it in with glee. He was almost to the bottom when he noticed a rotten dead rat in the chili.
The sight was shocking, and he immediately upchucked the chili into the bowl. The old cowboy quietly said, “Yep, that’s as far as I got, too...”
What do a 14-year-old pregnant girl and the child inside her have in common?
Both are thinking, “Oh no! My mom’s gonna kill me!”
Why do we put round pizzas in square boxes and eat them as triangles?
I found a chest of gold in my garden the other day. I wanted to run straight home to tell my wife about it.
Then I remembered why I was digging in my garden.
What’s worse than ants in your pants?
Uncles.
What do you call two lesbians in a closet?
A liquor cabinet.
There are too many suicidal people in this world. I’m going to make sure there is at least one less.
Me: *posts random joke about a duck*
That one guy in the comment section for no reason: "Shut the f*uck up you dumb b*tch you are a piece of sh*t you..."
That other guy in the comment section: "That’s actually offensive to ducks."
Bro it’s a joke...
I tried to warn my son about playing Russian roulette. It went in one ear and out the other.
Yo mama so fat that when she gets in the truck, it breaks.
Person 1: “You assume I’m gay because I have rainbow hair, I’m wearing a rainbow shirt, and I have a rainbow pride flag behind me?”
Person 2: “You assume I’m disabled because I have deformed arms and limbs, no legs, and I ride around in a wheelchair?”
What kind of candy do astronauts eat in space?
Mars bars.
What’s another name for nutting in a woman?
Loading the dishwasher.