INS jokes
Every time you feel lucky to have your mother in your life, what should you tell her?
I really hit the mother lode with you!
What's it like to have the best daughter in the world? You'll have to ask grandma!
What's the difference between a baby and a bowling ball?
A bowling ball doesn't cry when you put your fingers in it.
Why can’t girls in the Middle East smoke weed?
Because they’ll get stoned.
Riddle me this, Batman, what's long, round, and has cum in the middle?
Batman: A dick.
Riddler: NO NO NOOO! It's a cucumber!
Why was the leper hockey game canceled?
It was because of a face-off in the corner.
Why are there no fat people in Japan?
Last time they had a "Fat Man," 80,000 people died.
How do you blind an Asian?
Put a windshield in front of them.
When my Uncle Frank died, he wanted his cremations to be buried in his favorite beer mug.
His last wish was to be Frank in Stein.
New business idea: let's put a KFC in Africa and a watermelon shop.
Why can't you make jokes about catholic priests?
Because they blow up in your face.
Don’t you hate it when you are driving in a school zone and the speed bump starts screaming?
What’s the difference between a fetus and a jar of pickles?
The pickles aren’t as tasty in a jar.
What’s the first thing you should do if an epileptic is having a seizure in the bathtub?
Throw in your dirty laundry!
I dated a girl, and I didn’t know she was previously in an abusive relationship.
I thought she just REALLY hated high-fives.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims – they went 89 stories in ten seconds.
What is a witch's favorite subject in school?
Spelling!
What is a snake’s favorite subject in school? Hisssssstory.
Why shouldn’t you call people in China?
Because there are so many Wings and Wongs you might "wing" the wrong number.
The brain named itself, and when the brain realized that it named itself, it was surprised.
But maybe, it was a spelling mistake and the brain wanted the name Brian. We all have a little Brian in us!