Infant jokes
Most people smother babies with love.
I smother them with pillows.
What's worse than a pile of dead babies?
One at the bottom that's still alive.
What's worse than that?
It's forced to eat its way out.
What's even worse than that?
It comes back for seconds.
How many babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
More than 10, since my basement's still dark.
My 2 year old Asian baby cant do calculus Look who in sweatshop now
What does a baby in a blender look like?
I don’t know, I close my eyes when I masturbate.
What's 10 inches and makes women scream?
Cot death!
what's worse than a baby in a trash can? A baby in two trash cans.
What did the deaf, dumb, blind, paraplegic, autistic baby get for Christmas? AIDs.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
What do you get when you put a baby in a box of razor blades and throw it down the stairs?
An erection!
da baby
How do you get 100 babies in the back of a pick up truck? Blender.
How do you get them back out? Straw.
One day a father went out for some cold beer and threw the 18 pack in the back seat on top of the infant in the car seat. Fortunately, it was light beer.
What's the difference between a Lambo and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a Lambo in my garage.
Were you born on the highway? That's where most accidents happen.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you throw them.
What's white, red, and screams a lot?
A baby in a blender.
What's the difference between a skeleton and a baby? I don't set the skeleton on fire.
What do you get when you put a baby in a blender?
A boner.
What's stiff and 6 inches long?
SIDS.