If your baby can unhook your bra, is it time to stop breastfeeding?
Baby: Stroll? Me: *puts baby in stroller* WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL! Baby: *happily screams* Stroller: *front wheels break off* Me: WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL WITH NO FRONT WHEELS Baby: Oka- CRASH
I was going to tell a dead baby joke. but I decided Abort
Write a different of onions and dead baby
I asked to switch seats on a plane because I was next to a crying baby. Evidently that doesn't work if the baby is yours.
How do you get a baby to stop crying?
Simple... you staple it’s mouth shut.
What is red bubbling and scratching at a window, A baby in the microwave.
What red And white and lives in a blender
-a baby
What's the difference between steven hawkings and a baby - the baby is still alive'\
what has 4legs, than 3 legs, than 2 legs, than 1 leg, than no legs
a baby you cut one off each time
I was about to make a baby joke but then decided to abort
How do you fit a baby in a glass?
A blender
How do you get it out?
Explosives!
What did you call a white kid looking an infants?
Pedophilia boy
Q: what is the difference between a pizza and a baby? A: the pizza does not scream when you put it in the oven.
why wasn't the infant's entire body found
because the limbs are scattered around 43°17.7355’N, 113°58.4205’W
a Woman delivers a baby. The doctor takes the baby, and throws it, smashing around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. The mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging “WHYYYY!!??”. The doctor holds the baby upside down by the ankle and says “I’m just fucking with you, it was born dead”.
You can't call yourself a baby boomer if you have never detonated an infant
má ég fara heim
(in an infant esque voice)
i have eaten 6 babies, 9 adolescent children and 2 infants in the past week ;p
How are infants and chocolate alike? They'll both kill your dog
