Infant jokes
What is small, red, and sitting in the corner?
A baby playing with a scalpel.
"What's worse than 10 dead babies stapled to a tree?"
"What?"
"1 dead baby stapled to 10 trees!"
How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
How many babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? More than 40 because my basement is still dark.
What has 4 legs, then 3 legs, then 2 legs, then 1 leg, then no legs?
A baby you cut one off each time.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
Depends how hard you can throw them.
What's worse than a dead baby?
A pile of dead babies.
What's worse than that?
The baby at the bottom of the pile is still alive.
What's worse than that?
The baby at the bottom of pile is eating its way out.
Q: What is the difference between a pizza and a baby?
A: The pizza does not scream when you put it in the oven.
What's small, brown and crispy?
A baby in an oven.
What’s the best way to get a baby out of a blender? Tortilla Chips.
Why did the baby cross the road?
It was stapled to the chicken.
How many babies does it take to paint the walls red?
Depends how hard you throw them.
What do you call a baby in the shower? A baby in the shower.
How are infants and chocolate alike? They'll both kill your dog.
Why do dead babies cry? Just kidding, they are dead.
What's better than 5 babies in one dumpster?
1 baby in 5 dumpsters.
How do I feed the baby with my pants on?
How do you stop a baby from drowning? pt. 2
-Harpoon it.
What’s the difference between a dumpster full of dead babies and a Lamborghini?
I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.
What's better than swinging a baby around on a rope?
Stopping it with a shovel.