Infant jokes

How do you fit 100 babies in a bowl? A blender.

How do you get them out? Tortilla chips.

How to make a baby make funny faces?

Put it feet first in a blender.

What is worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies.

What's worse than that? The one at the bottom is still alive.

What is worse still? It has to eat its way out.

What's worse than that? It went back for seconds.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you throw them.

What do you call a dead baby?

Spawn killed.

What's the difference between an apple and a dead baby?

I don't jizz on an apple before eating it.

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?

One screams when you put it in a blender, and the other one is a cooperative little fruit.

How do you stop a baby from crying?

Throw a brick in its mouth.

What's the difference between a Lambo and a pile of dead babies?

I don't have a Lambo in my garage.

The secret to dark humor is the delivery... oh wait, the baby was stillborn.

What is red and tan and spins for about 50 mph?

A baby in a blender.

what do you call a baby in an oven?

my next meal.